The Tragic Life of Anne Heche
Getting what we want does not solve our problems. We can get all the things we crave and still have an aching heart.
You may’ve heard about the tragic car accident that resulted in the death of actress Anne Heche last week. Anne lived a tumultuous life. Her family moved eleven times during her childhood, even spending some time in an Amish community. Her father lived a double life. He was a choir director on the one hand, and on the other hand he was an undercover homosexual who abused Anne from the time she was an infant until his death from HIV/AIDS when she was 13.
Her older brother died three months after her father died, potentially taking his own life. Anne moved to New York to work in television when she was 18, anxious to get out from under her over-bearing mother. She won an Emmy Award for her work in daytime television and went on to make dozens of movies and television shows.
On the outside, her life was a story of triumph over tragedy. A blurb for the memoir she wrote about her life said that she was “a woman who has traveled a terrifying inner landscape in search of personal fulfillment – and who has emerged happy, whole, and strong.”
Yet despite all her outward success, Anne went through relationship after relationship, battled substance abuse, and struggled with mental health issues. It’s been reported that she had narcotics in her blood at the time of her deadly accident.
Anne’s tragic life ended tragically. Her children are left behind to put together the pieces. Her oldest son, Homer, said this in a statement after she was removed from life support, “After six days of almost unbelievable emotional swings, I am left with a deep wordless sadness. Hopefully my mom is free from pain and beginning to explore what I like to imagine as her eternal freedom. Rest in peace Mom, I love you.”
Anne Heche achieved what our culture calls success. Fame, followers, wealth, and influence. And yet the words of her son seem to suggest that she was a woman in bondage to pain.
Getting what we want doesn’t solve all our problems. We can get all the things we crave and still have an aching heart.
Already but Not Yet
In our text this morning, Genesis 21, we’re going to see Abraham finally receive his promised son, Isaac. But this great gift doesn’t negate unresolved family tension and Abraham’s lack of land to call home. This chapter illustrates the already and not yet nature of the promises of God. Abraham has an heir, but he doesn’t have any land.
In Genesis 21, Abraham’s anticipation becomes reality, but getting what he wanted doesn’t solve his problems. He still faces the reality of a competing heir, a disgruntled mistress, and a lack of land to call his own. Abraham has a son, but he isn’t home yet.
In this text, we see Abraham gaining a son (vv. 1-7), losing a son (vv. 8-21), and still waiting for a home (vv. 22-34).
Gaining a Son
In verses 1-7, Abraham gains a son. The promised heir, Isaac, is finally born. Abraham was seventy-five years old when God first promised to make him a “great nation” (12:1-4). Now he’s one hundred years old. That’s 300 months that he and Sarah tried to get pregnant, only to be disappointed. Can you imagine the despair? In this despair, he and Sarah had resorted to other means to gain an heir, such as having a child through Hagar. But these human methods didn’t bring about God’s plan. They only created more problems and hurt more people.
You can imagine then the joy that Abraham and Sarah felt when Isaac arrived. Sarah could now laugh with joy (v. 6). Moses the narrator makes it clear who’s responsible for Isaac’s birth: “The Lord visited Sarah…the Lord did to Sarah” (v. 1). Isaac’s birth was the result of God keeping his word. Verse 1, “as he had said…as he had promised.” Verse 2, “at the time of which God had spoken to him.”
God told Abraham and Sarah exactly what he would do. “I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife shall have a son” (18:10). God’s plan not only came about, it came about exactly as God said it would.
God Will Do What He Says He’ll Do
If God says that he’ll do something, he’ll do it. Here are some examples of things God says he’ll do: he’ll be near to the brokenhearted (Ps. 34:18), he’ll repay evildoers (Rom. 12:19), he’ll build his church and the gates of hell won’t prevail against it (Mt. 16:18), he’ll humble those who exalt themselves and exalt those who humble themselves (Lk. 18:14). He says that those who sow sparingly will also reap sparingly and those who sow bountifully will reap bountifully (2 Cor. 9:6). Jesus says that no one that the Father gives him will be taken out of his hand (Jn. 10:29). Jesus says that everyone who believes in him will live forever (Jn. 11:25). Jesus says that he’s the only way to God (Jn. 14:3). He says that his return will be a global, cataclysmic event that everyone on earth will see, and that those who don’t believe the gospel will go to hell and those who do believe the gospel will go to heaven (2 Thess. 1:7-10). Jesus says that he’s the living water and the bread of life (Jn. 4:10, 6:35), meaning that everything else you eat or drink to soothe your aching soul will not bring you the relief you’re looking for.
God will do all that he’s said he’ll do, and he’ll do it exactly as he said he’ll do it. He’s never lied. He only has a track record of telling the truth. He can be trusted because he’s trustworthy. Friends, if you’re struggling to trust in the Lord, ask yourself why? Has he ever lied to you or led you astray? What evidence do you have to prove that he won’t keep his word?
Losing a Son
With Isaac’s birth, Abraham’s anticipation has become reality. But Isaac’s birth doesn’t solve all his problems. In fact, it creates new ones as the next section shows (vv. 8-21).
Abraham has gained a son, and now he’s going to lose a son. His joy over Isaac turns into sorrow over Ishmael.
The occasion of Isaac being weaned from Sarah was an occasion for celebration (v. 8). But it’s also an occasion for Abraham to address some family dynamics that needed to be addressed.
Verse 9 says that Sarah saw Ishmael laughing during the party to celebrate Isaac. There are lots of reasons why we laugh. We could be joking with someone, responding to something funny, or mocking someone. The latter is what’s happening here. Fourteen-year-old Ishmael (17:25), undoubtedly influenced by his mother Hagar’s disdain for Sarah (16:4), is mocking Isaac. Paul confirms this for us in Galatians 4:29 when he says that Ishmael was “persecuting” Isaac. If there’s one thing Middle School-aged boys know how to do, it’s make fun of other people.
Sarah’s response in verse 10 seems harsh, but any mother would feel the same way. There’s nothing fiercer than a mother’s love for her children. Sarah’s concern is to protect, not just her son, but the child of promise.
This deeply hurt Abraham (v. 11). He knew that Ishmael wasn’t the son of promise (17:19, 21), but he was still his son, and no father who’s worth anything wants to banish one of his children. Abraham knew that God intended to bless Ishmael (17:20), but the promises of God didn’t prevent his pain.
Sarah is asking him to do the impossible. She wants it done but Abraham must be the one who does it. This verse, and 17:18, reveals Abraham’s affection for Ishmael. Interestingly, nowhere in the narrative of Abraham’s life does he speak affectionately of Sarah. Their marriage seems to have never recovered from Abraham’s self-protecting scheme initiated at the beginning (20:13).
Married couples, how you end is more important than how you begin, but how you begin will shape your marriage and affect your children in profound ways. Surround yourself with godly counselors and walk in humility and repentance and forgiveness from the beginning.
Abraham was deeply distressed until God came to him (vv. 12-13). God’s word gave Abraham the strength he needed to do the impossible (v. 14). This is the second time Hagar has been cast out into the wilderness with her child, basically left to die (ch. 16). And it’s also the second time that the Lord intervened and rescued her and her son (vv. 15-21).
Is Hagar and Ishmael’s Expulsion Wrong?
We may struggle with what’s happening here. How could Sarah suggest this, Abraham do it, and God authorize it? Doesn’t this call God’s character into question?
First, we need to remember that it was Abraham and Sarah’s actions back in chapter 16 that created the context for this mess. You may’ve seen the sign that says, “Everything happens for a reason, sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and make bad decisions.” God often gets blamed for the results of bad decisions that we make.
For the Lord to protect Isaac, he must protect him from Hagar and Ishmael. Had they been allowed to stay in Abraham’s camp, there may’ve been another Cain and Abel situation, or a Rebekah and Jacob and Esau situation, where Rebekah lied to her husband and their sons wanted to kill each other.
God made it clear that the covenant promises are going to go through Isaac. The point of this story, and the story of Lot in Sodom, is that all contenders for that position must be eliminated and the promised child preserved.
God still has good plans for Hagar and Ishmael (16:10; 17:20; 21:13, 18). Ishmael in particular seems to have received favor from the Lord. Verse 16 says that it was Hagar who was weeping, but then verse 17 says that “God heard the voice of the boy.” And verse 20 says, “And God was with the boy.” Ishmael was cast aside by his family, but not by his Maker.
Both of Abraham’s sons would be blessed, but only one would inherit the blessing of Abraham.
Why is the Story of Ishmael in the Bible?
As I’ve considered the narrative of Hagar and Ishmael, I’ve wondered why it’s in the Bible. Why would the Lord want this part of Abraham’s story and life recorded for all posterity? The New Testament helps us answer that, as we’ll see in a moment. But the Genesis text provides us with some clues.
There are several verbal connections between chapters 21 and 22. Both Hagar and Abraham “rose early in the morning” (21:14, 22:3). The “angel of God/the Lord” shows up in 21:17 and 22:11. There’s fear (21:17, 22:12) and the promise of offspring (21:18, 22:16). Hagar sees the well of water (21:19) and Abraham sees the ram (22:13).
Moses the narrator is painting Ishmael and Isaac in very similar terms, almost as if they’re the same people. Moses portrays Ishmael as a “son of laughter” (v. 9). And we’ve already seen that God has promised to bless Ishmael and make him into a great nation. The reader might think that perhaps he’s the child of promise?
But, as Paul points out in Galatians 4, one boy is born of the Spirit and the other is born of the flesh (v. 29). This is Paul’s interpretive grid for what he says in Romans 9:6-9. Not all who’re descended from Abraham are his true spiritual heirs. To inherit the promise of Abraham, you must be like Isaac and be born of the Spirit.
The pastoral point Paul is making in Romans 9 and Galatians 4 is that God’s people are saved by grace, not by works or by ethnicity. Only those who’re chosen by God’s free mercy, not based on anything they’ve done, are God’s people. Those who think they can work or earn or perform or be born into God’s family are slaves. Only those who trust in God’s free grace are free.
What Ishmael and Isaac Teach Us
Yes, this painful part of Abraham’s story is the result of his own poor choices. But God is always working in and through our stupidity to accomplish his purposes. The story of Ishmael and Isaac is meant to teach us that the only way people living in a cursed world in bondage to sin and death can be brought into the family of the God is by God’s free grace.
Abraham and Sarah’s scheming doesn’t work, and neither will yours. The only way to inherit the blessing of God is to trust in the promises of God. Abraham was counted righteous because he “believed the Lord” (15:6). And anyone today who believes the Lord’s word about their sinfulness and Jesus’ free forgiveness purchased on the cross will also be “counted righteous” and be heirs of the promises of God.
Waiting for a Home
Abraham finally receives the long-awaited prize of his promised heir, Isaac. But getting what he wanted doesn’t solve all his problems. Not only is there relational tension and heartbreak, the next section shows us that he doesn’t have any land (vv. 22-34).
We need to interpret this in light of the big story of Genesis. God placed Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden, but after they sinned they were driven from this land of life. Then God calls Abraham and promises him land, seed, and blessing. In chapter 21, he finally has the promised seed, Isaac, and he’s clearly blessed. Abimelech and Phicol say to him in verse 22, “God is with you in all that you do.”
But he still has no land. He’s a sojourner (20:1, 22:34). Yes, he’s wealthy and has lots of servants. But he’s a stranger wherever he goes, as seen in this dispute between him and Abimelech about the well. If Abraham owned the land, there would be no dispute. But he’s still waiting on that aspect of God’s promise to be fulfilled.
Almost Home
The writer to the Hebrews picks up on this theme (11:8-16). Land-less Abraham lived his life “looking forward to the city that has foundations, whose designer and builder is God” (v. 10). He was “seeking a homeland…a better country, that is, a heavenly one” (vv. 14, 16). His faith is why God was “not ashamed to be his God, for he has prepared for him a city” (v. 16).
Abraham, and you and I, live in the tension of the already and not yet nature of the promises of God. Abraham received an heir, but he didn’t have a home. Getting what he wanted didn’t solve all his problems. He had to learn, as do we, that God’s righteous ones must suffer while we wait for the land. The promises of God aren’t fulfilled for us all at once.
Like Abraham, we have begun to see the fulfillment of God’s promises in our lives. But there’s still so much pain and conflict. So, with Abraham, we understand that we’re strangers in this land and we’re looking forward to “a better country, a heavenly one.”
Brothers and sisters, here’s the good news: our hearts are aching, but we’re one day closer to heaven. We’re sojourners in this land, but we’re almost home.