Life-Shaping Relationships
The most fundamental relationships of our lives have the greatest shaping power in our lives. The more central a relationship is, the more effect it will have on us. Our deepest relationships have the deepest impact.
For example, our home situation as kids has an undeniably formative influence on our lives. Healthy homes with healthy marriages ordinarily produce securely attached kids. Unhealthy homes with unhealthy marriages ordinarily produce insecurely attached kids. God can and does bring so much good out of so much pain. But the principle remains: unhealthy homes and marriages hurt kids.
Our most fundamental relationships have the greatest shaping power in our lives. Another example is marriage. In a healthy marriage, each person is sharpened and sanctified and encouraged and refreshed by the other person. As a husband and wife grow together, there will be growth as individuals.
Another example is friendship. If you’re pursuing deep friendships, which only happen by a joint commitment to time and presence, then your life will start to be shaped by your friend. For my best friend’s 50th birthday earlier this year, I wrote this to him: “Your life has changed my life. Your words and time and attention and tears and questions and care and generosity and laughter and kindness and courage have shaped my heart and life in profound ways. Where would I be without you?”
Our deepest relational commitments inevitably shape and make us who we are. If you want to know what kind of person you’ll be in five years, look at the five people closest to you. That’s who you’re going to be. Relationships, especially intimate relationships, change our lives.
The most obvious example of this is of course our relationship with God. If we’re in a covenant relationship with God, then God will start to rub off on us. We’ll start to think like him, love like him, look like him, and act like him. God’s covenant partners have a relationship with him that is deep and growing and a relationship that results in noticeable change and action. God’s covenant creates intimacy that influences our lives.
Intimacy that Influences
In the second half of Genesis 18, God wants to show us something very important about the nature of the covenant relationship between him and Abraham. These verses show us the kind of relationship that he wanted with Abraham and Sarah. They show us that God’s covenant with Abraham created an intimacy that would influence Abraham’s life.
The main point of this text and this sermon is that God’s covenant creates an intimate relationship (vv. 16-18) that comes with immediate responsibility (vv. 19-33). Like every other meaningful relationship, God’s covenant comes with privileges and responsibilities.
Intimate Relationship
In verses 16-18, we see that God’s covenant creates an intimate relationship with Abraham. In verses 1-15, there’s the divine visit to reaffirm the earlier promise that Sarah will have a son in the next year and name him Isaac (vv. 10, 14). But this visit also turns into the occasion for the Lord to involve Abraham in the fate of Sodom and Gomorrah.
In verse 16, narrator Moses turns our attention from Isaac to Sodom. The men “looked down toward Sodom,” and we’re supposed to follow their gaze. For the next chapter and a half, in the middle of this section on Isaac’s promised birth and then his actual birth, the Lord turns our attention to Sodom because he wants to show us something about his relationship with Abraham.
This entire episode in chapter 18 of the Lord engaging with Abraham is meant to show us the reciprocal relationship that the covenant created between God and Abraham. Because of the covenant, Abraham was now an official confidant of the Lord, his official agent or ambassador. This is what the language “walk before me” in 17:1 refers to. The covenant brought Abraham into a personal and privileged relationship with the Lord.
Verse 17 is a rhetorical question that reveals the depth of intimacy that God wants with Abraham. The answer to this rhetorical question is, “Of course not!” Then in verse 18 the Lord starts to give his reasons for being so open with Abraham.
He says first that Abraham will be “a great and mighty nation,” which refers back to the first set of promises in 12:2. Then he says that “all the nations of the earth will be blessed in him,” which refers back to the second set of promises in 12:3. The first set of promises were enshrined in the covenant ceremony of chapter 15 (v. 18). The second set of promises were emphasized in the covenant confirmation of chapter 17 (vv. 4-5).
These two statements in verse 18 summarize God’s covenant relationship with Abraham. God’s first two reasons for pursuing such an open and transparent relationship with Abraham are because he’s in a covenant relationship with him.
The Lord is saying, “I’m in a covenant relationship with Abraham, so how could I hide what I’m doing from him?” He’s saying, “My relationship with Abraham means that I’m open with him about my plans. The type of relationship I’ve initiated with him requires openness and transparency.”
In verses 17-18, the Lord is showing Abraham and Sarah the kind of relationship he wants with them. He’s modeling for them the kind of openness and transparency that a covenant relationship creates. He’s contrasting this with the kind of relationships Abraham and Sarah have had with other people, most recently evidenced by Sarah’s lie in 18:15.
The Lord’s rhetorical question in verse 17 is God modeling for them what their covenant relationship with him should look like. Covenants create honesty, not lies. Openness, not hiding. Transparency and truth, not dishonesty and deceit.
Friendship with God
Put simply, the Lord engages Abraham like he’s a friend. Even though the language of friendship isn’t used, the later writers of the Bible see what’s happening here. 2 Chronicles 20:7, “Did you not, our God, drive out the inhabitants of this land before your people Israel, and give it forever to the descendants of Abraham your friend?” Isaiah 41:8, “But you, Israel, my servant, Jacob, whom I have chosen, the offspring of Abraham, my friend.” James 2:23, “The Scripture was fulfilled that says, ‘Abraham believed God, and it was counted to him as righteousness’ – and he was called a friend of God.”
The covenant God made with Abraham resulted in friendship. And friends don’t hide things from one another. They don’t lie like Sarah did in 18:15. They’re open and honest. They engage in conversation and share plans.
I said a couple weeks ago that our relationship with God is not less than a friendship, but that it’s so much more, that it’s like a marriage. But every healthy and thriving marriage will also be a healthy and thriving friendship. This will look differently, but it at least means consistent communication about how each other is doing. It means safe and warm and encouraging conversations. It means getting to know each other more and more. It means playfulness and seriousness
Healthy marriages create friendship between husband and wife. So it’s not surprising that Jesus calls his followers his friends in John 15:15, “No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.” Jesus calls his followers his friends because he’s told us what he’s doing.
Like Abraham, we know what God is doing in the world, and what he will do. We have privileged information. God values us so highly and loves us so deeply that he calls us into the inner circle of his being and lets us in on his plans. Psalm 25:14, “The friendship of the Lord is for those who fear him, and he makes known to them his covenant.”
Listening and Speaking
Covenant relationships create openness and intimacy. God speaks to Abraham, and as we’ll see, Abraham responds by speaking to God. This dynamic hasn’t changed. God still speaks to us in the Bible, and we speak to him in prayer. This kind of reciprocal relationship is what friendship with God creates.
Covenanting with God means listening to him and speaking to him. This is why our worship gatherings are focused on Scripture and prayer. These are the main ways we together engage with God. And they’re the main ways we individually engage with God.
The eternal holy God wants to come into our lives as a friend. He needs nothing and he’s not lonely. But he loves his people so much that he wants to walk with them. Herman Bavinck says, “The unchanging God is related to his creatures in manifold ways and participates in their lives. Without losing himself, he can give himself.”
Immediate Responsibility
God’s covenant creates an intimate relationship that comes with immediate responsibility (vv. 19-33). God’s covenant creates a relationship that results in social justice and blessing to the nations.
In verse 19, God continues to explain his reason for revealing his plan to Abraham. He says he will do so because “I have chosen him.” Abraham was selected out of all the peoples of the earth to bear God’s name and mediate God’s blessing to a world under the curse of sin.
Then the Lord says that he chose Abraham so that he would teach and command his children and household “to keep the way of the Lord.” This phrase is the idea of a lifestyle or pilgrimage. The “way of the Lord” takes one to salvation. The “way of the world” takes one to destruction, as the Sodom and Gomorrah incident in the next chapter exemplifies.
Social Justice
The verse goes on to say that the way to “keep the way of the Lord” is “by doing righteousness and justice.” When these two Hebrew words are used together, they form the single idea that we call “social justice.” Throughout the Old Testament, this word pair is used to summarize how God wants his people to engage in society. Jeremiah 22:3, “Thus says the Lord: Do justice and righteousness, and deliver from the hand of the oppressor him who has been robbed. And do no wrong or violence to the resident alien, the fatherless, and the widow, nor shed innocent blood in this place.” Ezekiel 45:9-10, “Thus says the Lord God: Enough, O princes of Israel! Put away violence and oppression, and execute justice and righteousness. Cease your evictions of my people, declares the Lord God. You shall have just balances…” Amos 5:24, “But let justice roll down like waters, and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream.”
The words “social justice” are used in many ways today. But in Genesis 18, and throughout the Bible, this idea refers to the way that God wants his chosen, covenant people to “keep his way” in the world. In other words, social justice is about God’s people reflecting God’s character to the nations.
Too many well-meaning Christians have allowed valid concerns over things like Critical Race Theory or “Wokeness” to drown out the legitimate and biblical emphasis on social justice. God cares about injustice anywhere it exists, whether it’s unjust systems or unjust people. Both must be addressed with biblical principles of what is just and right in mind. This isn’t being “woke.” According to Genesis 18, “doing righteousness and justice” is what the chosen and covenant people of God do. Let’s let the Bible define these things for us instead of our favorite preachers and podcasters and politicians and pundits.
Doing Good in the World
The Lord says in verse 19 that his election, or choosing, of Abraham should result in a people characterized by doing righteousness and justice, which in turn results in the Lord fulfilling his promise of worldwide blessing, “so that the Lord may bring to Abraham what he has promised him.” The kind of relationship the Lord enters into with Abraham is the kind of relationship that creates a desire to reveal God to the world by doing good in the world.
God’s covenant people down through the ages and even today are on the front lines of helping the poor, the orphan, the widow, and the immigrant. For the last two thousand years, it’s been Christians who’ve sent people all over the world to tell people about God’s love and to demonstrate that love by teaching them to read and write, building schools and hospitals, creating businesses and infrastructure, and taking care of refugees and immigrants. This is what two of our own, Hunter McLinn and Maddie Ellis, are doing right now in Poland and Ukraine.
Christians are the leading group in adoption and foster care. Christians give more of their money to charity than anyone else. Christians spearheaded the movement to abolish slavery and the movement to abolish the Jim Crow laws and the movement to abolish abortion. Christians are the ones starting pregnancy centers and soup kitchens and clothes closets. Christians, generally speaking, are the ones teaching in our schools and serving in our hospitals.
Not because we’re trying to create a new Israel (as theonomists may desire), but because we want to point to a new creation. We aren’t trying to create a new Jerusalem. We’re trying to point to one that’s coming. We aren’t trying to usher in God’s kingdom. We’re seeking to display it and help people taste and see it and bring people into it. We’re trying to light candles instead of just yelling at the darkness.
From Abraham to you and me, God has chosen his people and covenanted with them so that they would represent him in the world. The kind of relationship the Lord enters into with Abraham is the kind of relationship that creates a desire to reveal God to the world by doing good in the world. God’s covenant creates an intimacy that comes with responsibility.
The Inspector
Verses 20-21 is the Lord telling Abraham what he’s going to do. This is the Lord’s answer to his question in verse 17. The first thing he’s going to do is go down to Sodom to see how bad it is.
The Lord already knows what’s going on in Sodom. By going to examine the situation, the Lord acts justly, not capriciously. The Lord never flies off the handle in blind rage. His judgement is measured and deliberate and precise. The Lord’s judgment is always just.
The “outcry” has reached him because there was no righteousness or justice in these cities (cf. Isa. 5:7). The sin in Sodom was more than sexual perversion. It was social inequity and injustice. Listen to how the prophet Ezekiel describes it: “Behold, this was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not aid the poor and needy. They were haughty and did an abomination before me. So I removed them, when I saw it” (16:49-50).
The sin of Sodom was social and sexual. The people only cared about themselves and ignored those who were suffering. They wanted to have sex with everyone and wanted to share their food with no one. There was no justice or righteousness. So God rained fire down upon them. Let this be a lesson to our sexually perverse and prosperous and prideful and poor-ignoring hearts and nation.
Mercy and Justice
In verses 22-33, we see Abraham plead with God to not destroy the righteous with the wicked. Abraham is taking his first steps in practicing social justice and blessing the nations. What God told him in chapter 12 about being a blessing to the nations is starting to take effect.
This is his attempt to avert the destruction of Sodom and his attempt to save his nephew Lot, who lives in Sodom. In chapter 14, Abraham saved Lot by force. Here he understands that he’ll only be saved by prayer. God’s self-disclosure to Abraham leads to intercessory prayer for the lost. If God has brought you before himself, you should be bringing the lost before him.
Moses petitions the Lord on behalf of Israel in Exodus 32 (vv. 11-14). Here Abraham intercedes on behalf of wicked foreigners. Unlike Jonah, Abraham shows compassion toward wicked cities. One commentator writes, “It becomes us to hope the best of the worst places.”
Abraham’s prayer is for mercy for sinners. This exchange between him and God isn’t haggling. Abraham isn’t trying to barter with God. Throughout the conversation he shows deference and the Lord gets the last word.
Abraham is concerned for his nephew Lot, but he’s also concerned about the character of God. This whole situation has created a moral impasse for him. If the cities are destroyed, the righteous will be punished. If the cities are spared, the wicked will escape.
What’s at stake in Abraham’s mind is the integrity and justice of God: “Will you indeed sweep away the righteous with the wicked?…Far be that from you! Shall not the Judge of all the earth do what is just?”
If Abraham is supposed to keep “the way of the Lord” by doing what’s right and just, and the Lord doesn’t do what’s right and just, then Abraham would be living a lie. The character of God is at stake in what happens in Sodom. Is he righteous and just or not?
This exchange doesn’t mean that Abraham is uncertain about this. It’s because the Lord is righteous and just that Abraham is perplexed by the possibility of the destruction of the righteous with the wicked. Abraham’s intimate knowledge of God is why he comes to him with these bold questions. The give and take of this exchange reveal the merciful heart of God and how that mercy has created a compassionate heart in his covenant partner Abraham.
Sodom and the Cross
The unexpected outcome of chapter 19 is that neither scenario happens. The guilty are destroyed and the righteous are saved.
Sodom is of course the opposite of what happened at the cross. When Jesus died, God’s judgment rained down on the righteous so that the wicked could escape. Because God wants to show mercy to the unrighteous, he sent Jesus to die in their place, take their punishment and offer free forgiveness to everyone who trusts in him.
God’s Friends Change the World
Those who do enter a covenant relationship, an intimate friendship with God. There’s openness and honesty. God will never lie to you. He wants you to feel safe and welcome in his presence. He’ll never be put off by your questions or complaints. He’ll accept you and delight in you, he’ll love you and even like you.
This relationship comes with the responsibility of reflecting God’s character to the world. God’s covenant creates a relationship that results in social justice and blessing to the nations. God’s people want to reflect God by doing good to the nations. This can happen in your neighborhood or in other nations. But if you’re God’s friend, it will happen. God’s friends change the world.
Our deepest relational commitments inevitably make us who we are. God’s covenant creates an intimate relationship that comes with immediate responsibility. God is the kind of friend who really wants to engage you and the kind of friend who really wants to change you. If you’re God’s friend, your life will look evermore like his.