Genesis 2:18-25 | "The First Woman and The First Wedding" Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (186)
Genesis 2:18-25 | "The First Woman and The First Wedding" Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (186)
We Will Be Remembered for What We Loved
What you love is what people will remember about you. At your funeral, people will stand up and talk about the things that made you tick, the things you were passionate about. What you celebrated in life will be part of the celebration of your life.
What we’re passionate about is what we’re remembered for. You’ll forget 99% of what I say to you, but you’ll remember 100% of what I celebrated. What we rejoice in reveals our truest heart, who we really are.
Two Things Worthy of Celebration
This is also true for God. What God takes pleasure in, what he’s passionate about, what he celebrates reveals his truest heart. God delights in many things, his own glory most of all.
But at the end of Genesis 2, we see two things that God delights in that we may not have thought of before, two things that God celebrates. In verses 18-25, we see the first woman and the first wedding.
Verse 23 is Adam’s celebration of Eve and verse 24 is Moses’ summary of marriage. Behind Adam’s and Moses’s words is the God who inspired them, meaning that God delights in women and in marriage. If God preserved Adam’s jubilation over Eve and Moses’ instruction about marriage, then he also wants us to see what they see in the creation of woman and the creation of marriage.
For many, women and marriage have fallen on hard times, seemingly forgotten by God. But this text tells us that he made both and that he’s really happy about what he’s made, so happy that he brings the creation of the cosmos to a close by telling us about them. They’re not useless and broken relics to be stored in the attic. They’re beautiful and priceless pieces of furniture that deserve to be in the front room of the house of God’s creation.
The First Woman
Let’s look at the creation of each of these pieces of priceless “furniture” one at a time. First, let’s consider the creation of the first woman (vv. 18-23). None of Israel’s neighbors had a separate account of the creation of woman. Her creation was always subsumed under the creation of the man, if she was even mentioned at all. This text, along with 1:27, was a surprising claim in the ancient Near East. No one was talking like this when the Bible was written. The world wasn’t slowly improving its view of women with each passing generation.
The God of Israel, however, wants to make it clear that he made woman, that he made her and the man to have a partnership, and that women deserve the same kind of respect as men, because she’s just as much in the image of God as a man. This was and is a bold claim in an abusive world where many men think they can take what they want from women, as if women owe it to them, as if women are less than them.
The Bible, on the other hand, celebrates the royalty, dignity, and equality of women. Genesis 1:27 is the first poetry in the Bible. Moses writes this verse as poetry to capture God’s joy over creating men and women.
The God of the Bible has a much higher view of women than anyone in the ancient Near East, and today. The charge that the Bible is sexist or misogynistic just doesn’t hold up when you look at what the Bible actually says about women.
One example is that, in chapter 2, the creation of man gets one verse (v. 7), the creation of woman gets six (vv. 18-23)! Another is that God says Adam needs a “helper” in verse 18, but then makes him name the animals in verses 19-20. Why? Because God didn’t want to squander the precious gift of woman on someone who was unappreciative. Her appearance deserved a long build up because she would be the capstone of God’s world. Far from being inferior, she was the crest of the wave of God’s creative power in the world.
In 2:18, it says that the woman is made as “a helper fit (for the man).” The Hebrew literally reads that Eve was created “as in front of Adam.” She corresponds to him, neither superior nor inferior, but equal, one half of a polarity. Just as the South Pole corresponds to the North Pole, so woman corresponds to the man. They are equal in value. No misogyny here.
But, as one commentator points out, “Their sameness does not mean exactness.”[1] Those who lobby for “exactness” between men and women end up minimizing the unique abilities of women. This is why allowing transgendered men to compete in women’s athletics is unfair and unloving toward women.
Adam’s Outburst of Joy
The creation of both man and woman is celebrated with a poetic outburst in 1:27, but in 2:23 the poetic outburst is reserved for the woman alone. These are the first human words in Scripture. It seems significant that the first time a man talks in the Bible, it’s to celebrate a woman. This is Adam’s outburst of joy over the creation of Eve. It’s his, “Oh my goodness! You have to be kidding me! I can’t believe this is happening right now!” moment.
Adam’s mention of “bones” and “flesh” may be yet another indication of the equality of the woman. He most obviously means that she was literally taken from him. She’s of the same “stuff” as him, and therefore just as much an image bearer of God.
But it may also refer to the fact that man and woman share the entire spectrum of human characteristics. “Bones” often refer to one’s strength, “flesh” to their weakness. It’s our bones that survive the decay of death. Woman is not weaker or stronger than man, but the same.
This “bone” and “flesh” language may also be a statement of covenant loyalty, similar to what many say in their wedding vows today, that we’ll remain true to each other “in weakness and in strength,” in “flesh and bone.” In other words, Adam may be subtly declaring his loyalty to Eve, saying that circumstances will not alter the depth of his commitment to her.
Then he calls her “Woman” (issa), a title that echoes his own, “Man” (is). He doesn’t say that she’ll be called “female” because she was taken out of “male.” Rather, he uses two words that sound alike to emphasize their interconnectedness and equality. This play on words celebrates and anticipates their deep intimacy.
The Puritan Matthew Henry said that Eve was “not made out of (Adam’s) head to top him, not out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved.”[2]
When Adam first sees Eve, he welcomes her with relief (“at last”) and identifies with her personally. He’s not threatened by her equality; he’s thrilled by it. She has his heart from the moment he sees her. She’s not property or a prize of war or even the mother of his children yet, and his response is joy and delight. All because, in and of herself, she’s worthy of praise and honor and dignity and embrace. She’s what he is, an image bearer of Almighty God.
Women Should be Celebrated, not Tolerated
The first man celebrated the first woman. In and behind his celebration of woman, is the smile and delight of God. Surely Adam’s joy didn’t exceed God’s. Surely God rejoiced in the joy of his first son when he saw his first daughter. What father doesn’t smile when they see their children laughing?
Remember I said that what we celebrate reveals our truest heart. God celebrates the creation of woman. In and through Adam’s joy is God’s delight in his creation of the woman. God delights in his creation of his first daughter.
Ladies, sisters in Christ, how do you think God sees you? What do you think he sees when he sees you? Do you think he looks at you with disgust over some of the decisions you’ve made? Do you think he’s waiting for you to get married and have kids before he starts valuing your life? Do you think he’s mildly displeased with you because your house isn’t as clean as it could be? Or because your kids aren’t as well-behaved as they could be? Or because your marriage isn’t as deep as it could be? Or because your schoolwork isn’t as good as it could be?
The truth is that when God sees you, he sees beauty, because he sees a reflection of himself. You bear his beautiful image. You represent the High King of heaven as one of his queens of the earth. With men, you reign and rule over God’s world. You’re uniquely and magnificently made. Your beauty is stunning, and it has nothing to do with your waistline, your figure, your hair, your face, or your skin. Your beauty is rooted in a reality beneath your skin. Your beauty reflects the God whose image you bear. You are intrinsically beautiful and you have so much to offer this world besides your looks.
One day we’ll all see just how radiant you are. When Jesus returns, he won’t merely upgrade our current existence. He’ll bring us into “a new heaven and a new earth” where we’ll reign with him forever (Rev. 21:1; 22:5). In that new universe, every redeemed woman, no matter how she has sinned or been sinned against in this world, will stand with a royal glory that will radiate from her forever and ever.
What C. S. Lewis said of every person applies to every woman:
It is a serious thing…to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities…that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people.[3]
Many are blind to the true glory of women. But there’s no excuse for those in the church who know the truth about them. Men, do you celebrate the women in your life? Do you see them as objects for your lust or sisters made for glory? Do you pray for them and encourage them and spend time getting to know them? Or do you unconsciously demean them by always talking to them and never listening to them? Do you assume that you’re their teacher and they’re your students?
Brothers, if you want a lady to be impressed with you, stop talking and start listening. Be curious about their story, their ideas, their thoughts, their hopes and dreams. Women are looking for men strong enough to consider someone else’s interests as more important than their own.
The First Wedding
The first beautiful and priceless pieces of furniture that God created and celebrated here is woman. The second piece of priceless furniture that God created and celebrated here is the first wedding (vv. 24-25).
I say “celebrated” because verse 24 is an explanatory comment from Moses, not a continuation of Adam’s song in verse 23. Verse 24 is like a short epilogue after the curtain has fallen on the drama of the creation week. It tells us what the whole narrative of chapter two has been about. The word “therefore” at the beginning of the verse tells us that Moses is interjecting this summarizing statement to tell us why God created man and woman the way he did. Because God created man and then woman and brought her to the man, “Therefore….”
Yes, this first marriage was unique. It took place before sin entered the world in a garden-temple, by far the best wedding venue the world has ever seen! But Moses interjects verse 24 in order to apply the principles of the first marriage to every marriage that will follow.
Exclusiveness
There are three things, according to this verse 24, that happen in marriage. There’s an exclusiveness, a permanence, and a togetherness.
First, there’s an exclusiveness, a “leaving” of the parents. In that culture, the husband didn’t actually leave his parents – the new couple usually stayed with the husband’s family. So this “leaving” needs to be understood in a relative sense, not an absolute sense. The man’s loyalty to his wife is to be so great that he “leaves” his family even though he stays with them.
The point is that the marriage relationship is more important than every other familial relationship. When a man and woman marry, their priorities change. Before marriage, their first obligations are to their parents. After marriage, they’re to each other.
Many marriages struggle to get off the ground and many end up failing because first loyalties are never established. The call to “leave father and mother” doesn’t negate the call to “honor your father and your mother.” But it does change whose opinions you care about the most, who you seek counsel from first, and who you share your deepest struggles and hopes and dreams with.
Husbands, your best friend and most trusted confidant is supposed to be your wife. Wives, your best friend and most trusted confidant is supposed to be your husband.
Permanence
Second, there’s a permanence, a “holding fast” to the wife. “Holding fast” can literally mean “stick to.” This is covenantal language describing God’s relationship with Israel throughout the Old Testament. Just as Israel must “leave” the idols of the nations, and “stick to” the Lord, so also must a husband and wife forsake all others and “stick to” one another.
The covenantal nature of marriage also means that marriage isn’t a private deal. It’s a public declaration before God, other people, and the state that you’re giving your life to each other. Marriage as a covenant means that the vows that husband and wife exchange, whether before a pastor or priest or in a civil court, are what forms the marriage. This means that a marriage isn’t consummated, or achieved, on the wedding night, but rather when the vows are exchanged.
In other words, marriage is bigger than sex. The idea that a marriage truly begins when sexual relations occur rather than when vows are taken is foreign to Scripture. If this were so, then I’d be lying when I, at the end of a wedding ceremony say, “I now pronounce you husband and wife.” I believe that I’m telling the truth in that moment because sex doesn’t make a marriage. Covenant makes a marriage. Vows form and constitute a marriage.
This also means that if you want to get married just to have sex, you don’t understand what marriage is. When you’re ready to commit your life to someone no matter how you feel, then you’re ready for marriage. Not just when you’re ready for sex.
There’s much that could be said here about divorce and remarriage. For more on these topics, see my sermon on Mark 10:1-12, “Divorce and Remarriage According to Jesus” on the PHBC website.
Togetherness
Third, there’s a togetherness, a oneness in marriage when two “become one flesh.” The exclusive and permanent nature of the marriage relationship is the soil where this oneness grows. Cohabiting is a cheap substitute for this oneness, and it often poisons the relationship and hinders it from growing into the depth of God’s design.
This oneness is more than sexual, but not less. Marriage is where men and women should experience each other sexually (v. 25). It’s where sex becomes a win-win. It’s not just for the pleasure of one person or the other.
I love how Ray Ortlund puts this: “Marriage is sealed, celebrated, and refreshed through sex…Inside the circle where only a husband and wife fully belong, they cultivate safety and honor, so that sex is unashamedly joyful for both of them equally…Are the man and woman still vulnerable? More than ever. But for that very reason, their intimacy is all the more wondrous.”[4]
Because of sin, we’ve become sexual users and consumers. Anything goes because in our culture our feelings have imperial status. But God made marriage to be an expression of the exclusive and permanent and shame-free oneness that creates true sexual freedom. The sexual freedom preached by our culture is a cheap knock-off that ends up breaking us down, rather than building us up.
A Husband to Rejoice In
We’ve seen two things that God delights in, two things that God celebrates, the first woman and the first wedding. Women and marriage may be denigrated by some, but they’re celebrated by God. His joy in them reveals something of his deepest heart.
Interestingly, in the New Testament, Paul quotes verse 24 and says that marriage is a picture of Jesus’ marriage to the church (Eph. 5:31-32). He’s saying that marriage is a human window into how Jesus and his bride relate. Jesus isn’t loosely, or unofficially, connected to his bride. No, there’s formal connection of deep intimacy and total acceptance.
When we begin to see Jesus in this light, as a faithful husband who scoops up his unfaithful wife with a joyful embrace, with no strings attached, we’ll sing like Adam when he met Eve.
When we see Jesus with eyes of faith, in all his glory, all his welcome and acceptance, all his tender forgiveness, all his gentle and fierce love, we become like Adam and burst into song and rejoice that God would give us such a One!
Have you received Jesus as your spouse who’ll never cheat on you or leave you or minimize you or hurt you or demean you or take advantage of you? Have you been wed to the One who celebrates women and weddings? Have you trusted his promise of unbreakable love?
[1]Kenneth A. Matthews, Genesis 1-11:26, The New American Commentary, vol. 1a (Nashville: B&H, 1996), 220.
[2]Quoted in R. Kent Hughes, Genesis: Beginning and Blessing, Preaching the Word (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2004), 60.
[3]C. S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory and Other Addresses (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1974), 14-15, italics original.
[4]Ray Ortlund, The Death of Porn: Men of Integrity Building a World of Nobility (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2021), 42-3.