First John 1:7 says that “if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another.” And James 5:16 tells us to “confess our sins to one another, that we may be healed.” One of the ways we follow Jesus together is by finding a trustworthy brother or sister and talking to them about the specific ways we’re sinning and struggling. James says this brings healing into our lives. John says it creates fellowship.
Relationships full of the light of truth open new vistas of the life of God to us. We all long for relationships that are deep and growing and life-giving, relationships where we find true togetherness. We were made by God to know and be known by others.
But since Genesis 3, these kinds of relationships are hard to build and sustain. Sin disrupted and poisoned every good thing God made, including our ability to connect with each other. One of the primary fallouts of sin is shame. We all feel a deep sense of not measuring up. We feel small and worthless no matter how much good we do. We feel guilty and dirty. The feelings of self-contempt are so strong that we feel like we need to hide because how could anyone accept us if they really knew us? And the Evil One tempts us to think we are the only one who feels this way. So like Adam and Eve, we put together loin clothes and run for the trees and hide from God and others in our shame.
Shame is one of the main reasons we struggle to confess our sins to one another. John and James tell us that fellowship and healing await us on the other side of honest conversations, but our shame keeps us quiet and pretending to be okay. Shame keeps us isolated, and in isolation sin festers and grows, creating even more shame, leading to even more isolation.
Is it possible to break out of this spiral of sin and isolation and shame? It is because God is a God who came to us in our shame in order to take our shame so that we could boldly approach him and honestly approach one another.
In the parable of the prodigal son, Jesus tells us that when the prodigal’s father sees his lost son coming home, he orders his servants to bring out the best clothes and prepare the best meal, “For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found” (Lk. 15:24). He does not give his son a “talkin’ to,” demand an apology, or ask him to explain his behaviors. His son is home and that is all that matters.
The son would have walked through the nearby village to get back to his father’s house. The word would have spread that this son who betrayed his father was coming back through town. The father could have let his son walk down this road with his head down and his heart flooded with shame and embarrassment. But instead, “While he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him” (v. 20). The father met his son on the road and joined him on his walk of shame.
God could have let us walk the walk of shame on our own, making us crawl and cower our way back him. But instead he ran down from heaven and met us on the road of our shame, even taking our shame upon himself.
God became a man in Jesus and died a publicly shameful and humiliating death on a cross. Jesus was not just tortured to death. He was tortured to death in a publicly embarrassing way. The cross that Jesus hung on was an emblem of shame and disgrace. And he joyfully hung there for you.
Jesus’ shame-full and shame-bearing death on the cross is where we find the strength and courage to approach one another in honesty about our sins. We will never confess a sin that is not already covered by the blood of Jesus. Jesus has taken our filthy rags and given us his righteous robes, so we are free and emboldened and empowered by his Spirit to walk in the light of honesty with one another. And when we do, we find shame begin to loosen its grip and peace start to grow. We find that friendship turns into fellowship, and we experience the healing power of the gospel in our hearts.
Brothers and sisters, Jesus took your shame so that you can take your sins to him and to one another. May God help us overcome shame and walk into the light of honest relationships with one another.
With You,
Pastor John