"What Does Martin Luther Have To Do With Your Dinner Table? An Introduction to Family Worship" Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (99)
"What Does Martin Luther Have To Do With Your Dinner Table? An Introduction to Family Worship" Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (99)
What Does Martin Luther Have to Do with Your Dinner Table?
An Introduction to Family Worship
Martin Luther Gets Married
Five hundred and four years ago today, Martin Luther began a movement that would reshape Germany, the European continent, and the world. When he opened a theological debate about the teachings and practices of the Catholic church, little did he know that this debate among trained theologians would affect the lives of those who knew little or no theology at all.
Luther lectured on theology and the Bible at the University of Wittenberg, wrote books and pamphlets, and preached sermons, all of which were used mightily of God to spark a spiritual awakening in Europe. But it was something far more ordinary that may’ve been the most significant thing he did to effect change in the lives of ordinary people.
On Tuesday, June 13, 1525, the former monk Marin Luther married a former nun, Katharina von Bora. There were five people at their wedding. The city of Wittenberg gave the new couple twenty pieces of silver and a barrel of beer. Some of Luther’s friends weren’t supportive of his marriage, but Luther had come to believe that the Bible teaches that Christians, even priests and pastors, are free to marry, and that the yoke of celibacy mandated by the Catholic Church was leading many into sin and devaluing a good gift from God.
Luther’s marriage to Katie was yet another act of protest against the unbiblical teachings and practices of the Catholic Church. Some scholars believe that Luther changed the course of ordinary European life more through his marriage than his books. It’s one thing for a celibate pastor to say that marriage is allowable. It’s another thing for him to get married.
Luther and the Home
Luther’s marriage elevated the status, not just of marriage, but also of women and children. Luther supported efforts to defend women against sexist slurs. He believed women were a blessing from God, not a curse. He said, “Imagine what it would be like without the female sex. The home, cities, economic life, and government would virtually disappear. Men can’t do without women. Even if it were possible for men to beget and bear children, they still couldn’t do without women.”[1]
In other words, even if they didn’t bear children, Luther is saying that God blesses the world through women. This was counter-cultural then and now. Both genders image God and thus represent his righteous rule on the earth.
Luther’s marriage elevated the status of women, and, by default, the status of children and the hope of the Christian home. He believed that the home was to be a small slice of heaven on earth, especially homes blessed with faith. In homes where a husband and wife trusted the promises of God and pursued godliness, something of heaven could be seen.
Luther said that parents should give their children more than possessions, but should “enrich their souls with the arts, with study, with sound literature…in the fear of God.” He said that if parents do this diligently, they will have “plenty of opportunity” for good works “in their own households without running around looking for something to do.”[2]
One of Luther’s goals was to move the center of spirituality from the monastery to the home. He believed each family could be a house of prayer and a school for Christ. He said, “Such a house is actually a school and a church, and the head of the household is a bishop and priest in his house.”[3] The best “good work” for families to do was to worship the Lord together.
The Importance of Family Worship
Today, I want to talk to you about family worship. Undoubtedly, God calls us to regularly worship him together as a church. But each family is also a worshipping unit, a God-created group of souls bound together in order to love and serve him.
Having your family in a gospel-preaching church is crucial, but it’s not enough. The church is called to help parents disciple their children, not disciple them for you. I love the way Don Whitney says this, “It is unlikely that exposure to the church once or twice a week will impress your children enough with the greatness and glory of God that they will want to pursue him once they leave your home.”[4]
Listen to what Charles Spurgeon said about the dangers of neglecting family worship:
“Brethren, I wish it were more common, I wish it were universal, with all (Christians) to have family prayer. We sometimes hear of children of Christian parents who do not grow up in the fear of God, and we are asked how it is that they turn out so badly. In many, very many cases, I fear there is such a neglect of family worship that it’s not probable that the children are at all impressed by any piety supposed to be possessed by their parents.”[5]
In other words, our kids pick up on the things we really care about. If we say we care about God but give him 5% of our attention or rarely talk about him or pray to him or worship him, then our kids will figure out that we don’t really care about him even though we say we do.
The Barna research group found that 85% of parents with kids under the age of 13 believe they have the primary responsibility of teaching their kids about God, but a majority of these parents don’t spend any time at all during the week teaching their kids about God. They generally rely on the church to give their children the religious training they need.[6]
Family Worship in the Bible
Whether you’re currently a parent, want to be a parent, know any parents, or live with another human being, what I’m going to say today applies to you. Every home should have some form of regular worship of God, whether it’s parents with children, spouses with each other, or roommates with each other.
There’s a ton of freedom in what this looks like, and I don’t think family worship has the moral equivalency of the Ten Commandments. The Bible doesn’t explicitly or directly command family worship, but it everywhere assumes that each household will worship God and teach children to know him. Again, Spurgeon says, “We may have no positive command for it, but we believe that it is so much in accord with the genius and spirit of the gospel, and that it is so commended by the example of the saints, that the neglect thereof is a strange inconsistency.”[7]
So what does the Bible say? In Genesis 18:19, the Lord said of Abraham, “I have chosen him, that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice.” Abraham didn’t have local synagogues or churches to rely upon. He would have to do this teaching himself in his home.
Perhaps the best-known passage in the Bible on parents teaching their children the things of God is Deuteronomy 6:4-7. Moses tells parents to do more than family worship. He tells them to make the reality of God a normal part of their everyday lives. Parents should take every opportunity to teach their children the truths of God. The best way to do this consistently with all your children at once is through a time of family worship.
Regular, weekly, congregational worship didn’t begin for the Israelites until after the exile when people began to meet weekly for worship. Before then, those who wanted to worship God corporately would have to travel great distances to the tabernacle or temple. So in a time when congregational worship was infrequent, what did Joshua mean when he said, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (24:15). Regular times of worship with his family would surely have been how Joshua fulfilled this resolve.
In Psalm 78:1-8, we find more instruction on training the next generation. The “fathers” were commanded to “teach their children” (v. 5) the law of God so that they wouldn’t be like previous generations. This kind of teaching probably didn’t happen when thousands of Israelites gathered for feasts at the temple, but rather when the family gathered around a fire or a meal. Family worship was about teaching the next generation about what God has done (v. 4), what he has said (v. 5), “so that they should set their hope in God” (v. 7). The first question of The New City Catechism is, “What is our only hope in life and death?” Answer: “That we are not our own but belong to God.” In family worship, our aim is to create hope in God in the hearts of our children.
Family worship is also hinted at in the New Testament. In Ephesians 5, Paul exhorts husbands to love their wives by washing her with the “water of the word” (v. 26). One way to bring the pure water of the Word of God into our marriages is through the practice of family worship.
Then in chapter 6, verse 4, Paul says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Paul singles out dads to do the work of discipline and instruction, making it clear that we can’t contract this work out to the church or the schools. So, dads, when do you do this? This can be done all the time, but having a consistent, father-led time of family worship is one of the best ways to obey this command.
Paul later says that men who want to be elders must manage their house or they’re not ready to manage God’s house (1 Tim. 3:4-5). Surely that means more than making sure the bills are paid. Men who want to lead the church in worship need to first lead their families in worship.
What Does Family Worship Look Like?
Family worship is probably a lot simpler than you think. Don Whitney says it’s simply reading, praying, and singing together.[8] Read the Bible, pray, and sing. This can be done without preparing anything. There are so many ways to do this! Find what works for your family at the stage of life you’re in. Last year, I realized that reading long passages of Scripture wasn’t helpful or possible with three little ones. So we shifted gears and started slowing working through The New City Catechism instead.
Here are five tips to help you get started. First, attach family worship to another daily event when the family is already together. This could be breakfast, lunch, dinner, bedtime, etc. Second, make it short and simple. It’s not a seminary class. You don’t have to do a mini sermon or a mini church service. It doesn’t need to be long and complicated – long and complicated will stop the habit before it starts. Ten minutes, or less if your children are really young, is usually plenty of time to read, sing, and pray. If it’s going well, lengthen it. But don’t make it tedious by making it long. If it still feels complicated, there are excellent resources to help you.
Third, make it consistent. Make family worship a normal thing that you do together as a family. The more consistently you do it, the easier and more natural it’ll become. Fourth, be flexible. Little ones aren’t always going to be able to listen quietly while you pontificate on the Trinity, or be able to make it through all four verses of Holy, Holy, Holy, or pray about everything on the prayer list. Start small and work up. Sometimes kids (and parents!) are melting down after a really long day and need to do a five minute instead of fifteen-minute worship time. Dad, it’s your job to make it a blessing and not a burden to your family. Pray for wisdom and remember that it’s the Spirit who must change your children, not you.
Pursue Family Worship with Faith
And fifth, we must pursue this work with faith. As pastor David Murray says, “Sometimes the intimidation factor or the discouragement factor are actually unbelieving factors. We don’t actually believe that God will use and bless this to the salvation of our children. Above all, build your hopes and your faith on the truth that God can take his word, with prayer and worship, and bless it to your children’s salvation. When you really believe that, a lot of the intimidation and discouragement will shrink and eventually go away. So, do it with confidence and faith.”[9]
At his parents fiftieth wedding anniversary, a son told his dad, “When I was only three, God used you in family worship to convict me that Christianity was real. No matter how far I went astray in later years, I could never seriously question the reality of Christianity and I want to thank you for that.”[10] Dads, may our children be able to say this about us in fifty years.
In the meantime, lets pursue this work with faith that God’s word is able to bring something out of nothing. By God’s grace, our children will come to believe what we constantly set before them as good and true and beautiful. Our children will worship what we worship, so, like Martin Luther, let’s make sure that the worship of God is central in our homes and hearts. Like Luther, let’s change the world through the ordinariness of God-centered homes. May God bring about a modern reformation in and through us as we do so.
[1]Quoted in Joel R. Beeke, “The Family Man: Luther at Home,” in The Legacy of Luther, eds. R. C. Sproul and Stephen J. Nichols (Orlando: Reformation Trust, 2016), 79.
[2]Ibid., 89.
[3]Quoted in Donald S. Whitney, Family Worship (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2016), 30.
[4]Ibid., 14.
[5]Quoted in ibid., 13.
[6]Ibid., 13-4.
[7]Quoted in ibid., 15-6.
[8]Ibid., chapter 3.
[9]https://www.crossway.org/articles/3-simple-ways-to-get-started-with-family-worship
[10]Quoted in Whitney, 12.