A Great Separation
We are living during a great separation. The Church of Jesus Christ is in the middle of what I think is a God-ordained process of revealing who the people of God are in this generation. And the sieve, or sifter, that God is using to do the separating is sexuality.
The issues of marriage, gender, and sexuality are separating out the faithful from the unfaithful. Those who agree with the Bible that marriage is between one man and one woman for one life, who say that the only appropriate context for sexual expression is marriage, and who say that gender is assigned not chosen will be called old-fashioned, bigots, and even dangerous. They’ll be on the wrong side of history, but on the right side of holiness.
As the passing of the Equality Act in the House of Representatives this week made painfully clear, the LGBTQ+ agenda will continue to aggressively undermine our religious freedoms. Christian schools, colleges, ministries, churches, and Christians themselves will have to decide what they will do. Will we give in to the sexual revolution or will we remain faithful to God’s revelation?
In his book The Gathering Storm, Al Mohler says, “Sadly, many churches have capitulated to the demands of the sexual revolution. It will take extraordinary conviction to resist their revolution. We are about to find out which churches, denominations, and Christian institutions are capable of this resistance.”
In other words, we’re about to find out where everyone stands on these issues. Where we stand as a Southern Baptist Convention of churches, a local church, and as Christians.
We’re in the middle of a series on the church, the called out and called together people of God. What I’m saying is that what we believe about human sexuality specifically, and biblical authority more generally, will reveal the true people of God in our lifetime. Where will we stand? Where will you stand?
Truth and Grace is Where and How We Will Stand
What I want to do today is show you as a church where we stand and tell you how I think we should stand there. John 1:14 is where we’ll start. The eternal Son of God didn’t come to earth full of anger and rage. He came “full of grace and truth.”
Jesus is “full of grace of truth.” But sometimes Jesus’ followers are not, especially when we’re confronted with sexual brokenness and sexual sin. Sometimes we forget about the truth. Sometimes we forget about grace. Sometimes we overemphasize truth and forget that Jesus loves sinners. And sometimes we overemphasize grace and make accommodations for sin.
But when the pure Son of God descended to the earth, he landed with a perfect balance of grace and truth. He came into a dark and dirty and demonic world to tell people what was really going on, but he also came to meet people where they are and give them the thing they needed most, namely, grace.
The church’s response to a sexually broken and sinful world must be a truth-and-grace response. We must be clear about what the Bible says about sexuality and we must be clear about what the Bible says about grace. Truth is where we must stand and grace is how we must stand there.
We Start with Truth
Let’s start by considering the truth about sexuality. We’ll start with truth, end with grace. I want to use our church’s “Statement on Marriage, Gender, and Sexuality” as a guide for our discussion. It summarizes what we believe the Bible says about these issues. To join our church, you have to sign this Statement. It also starts with truth and ends with grace. All I can hope to do in this sermon is give a brief overview on each of these topics. This is why I’ve provided a list of resources for further study in the bulletin.
The Truth about Gender
The Statement starts with the topic of gender. It says, “We believe that God wonderfully and immutably creates each person as male or female. These two distinct, complementary genders together reflect the image and nature of God (Gen. 1:26-27). Rejection of one’s biological sex is a rejection of the image of God within that person.”
Genesis 1:26-27 says, “Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.’ So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”
The invisible God decided to be represented on the earth by visible humans, by men and women. God made two wonderful, though distinct, complementary genders that both reflect the image of God.
To reject this is to reject the very core of what it means to be a human. We did not, and cannot, create ourselves. Assuming that we can takes us back to the first sin in the Garden of Eden, the sin of thinking that we can be God.
To reject this is also to reject basic biology, basic facts that even toddlers can understand. These basic facts are proven by DNA, as our DNA reveals whether we’re male or female, no matter how we choose to “identify.” This is why some leading atheists point out the insanity of transgenderism. Douglas Murray, who is himself an atheist and gay, says that “there is something demoralizing about agreeing to lie…Truth is energizing.” The obvious truth, whether you believe in God or not, is that we are born either male or female.
Gender dysphoria is a real phenomenon; people do truly struggle to identify with their biological sex. But that doesn’t mean that it’s actually possible to become a member of the opposite sex. And people are sometimes born without a clear reproductive anatomy. But linking intersex people with transgenderism is mixing categories. Transgender people aren’t dealing with ambiguity about their anatomy. They simply feel that their “gender identity” is out of sync with their biological sex. Their biological sex is clearly known, and then rejected. Intersex people undergo medical intervention to live out the sex they were born with. Transgender people undergo medical intervention to obscure the sex that they were born with.
This is the truth about gender. God made us male or female. Our gender is a gift from him to be celebrated, not a burden to be avoided or changed. This truth will get us in trouble with the world. But I agree with the Nashville Statement, that “faithfulness in our generation means declaring once again the true story of the world and our place in it – particularly as male and female.” Some professing Christians are denying this truth, but may God give us grace to stand on this truth.
The Truth about Marriage
Let’s move next to the truth about marriage. Our Statement says this: “We believe that the term ‘marriage’ has only one meaning: the uniting of one man and one woman in a single, exclusive union, as delineated in Scripture (Gen. 2:18-25). We believe that God intends sexual intimacy to occur only between a man and a woman who are married to each other (1 Cor. 6:18, 7:2-5; Heb. 13:4). We believe that God has commanded that no intimate sexual activity be engaged in outside of marriage.”
Genesis 2:18-25 says, “Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.’…But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, ‘This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’ Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.”
In Matthew 19, Jesus quotes Genesis 1 and 2, affirming that marriage is between a man and a woman (v. 5). He adds, “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (v. 6). Jesus taught that marriage was between one man and one woman for life.
This necessarily rules out the possibility of two people of the same gender having a union called “marriage.” By God’s definition, that’s simply not possible.
The Truth about Sex
In Genesis 1 and 2, we learn that marriage is also meant to be a sexual and procreative union. Marriage is where God wants sex to happen. Let’s talk now about the truth about sex.
The Bible says that God created sex, therefore sex is good. The Bible says that sex is for the marital union. And the Bible says that sin has corrupted sex, like it’s corrupted everything else.
We need to understand that sex is good. We often hear about sexual sin, but don’t hear enough about the sanctity of sex. God is very pro-sex! We need to emphasize that God designed our sexuality just as much as we emphasize that our sexuality is broken.
Sex was part of the original, perfect, glorious creation of God in the Garden of Eden. Genesis 2:25, “And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” Adam and Eve weren’t just naked; they were unashamed in their nakedness. There was perfect freedom and delight in each other’s bodies.
God put this full and free sexual expression in the context of a deep and lifelong commitment. God created man and woman and brought them together in a relationship meant to reflect his image and glory to the world. And part of that relationship was sex.
Sex is good because it was God’s idea, and God doesn’t have bad ideas. It was in his mind when he engineered our bodies, before sin ever existed. God designed erotic pleasure. Think about it. Our sexuality means that God wants to give us beauty and pleasure. It turns out that God isn’t a grumpy old prude.
This means that we don’t need to be ashamed of our sexuality. You may think that you’re too sexual, when you may actually not be sexual enough. What I mean is that God gave us minds and bodies designed to experience sexual pleasure. When we start to move out of the shame of our sexual sin, there’s so much more about our sexuality that awaits us. Sex is not bad. Sex is a good and glorious gift from God for marriage.
The Truth about Sexual Sin
The beauty and goodness of our God-given sexuality is why God takes sexual activity outside of marriage so seriously. We would never consider taking a Vincent van Goh painting and using it as a doormat. Trampling on something beautiful would make the one who made the beautiful thing really upset. And it would fail to understand the beauty of the thing trampled on.
Let’s consider now the truth about sexual sin. Our Statement says, “We believe that any form of sexual immorality (including adultery, fornication, homosexual behavior, bisexual conduct, transvestism, bestiality, incest, and use of pornography) is sinful and offensive to God (Matt. 15:18-20; 1 Cor. 6:9-10).”
Jesus says in Matthew 15:19-20, “For out of the heart come (among other things) adultery, sexual immorality…These are what defile a person.” And Paul says in 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, “Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral…nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality…will inherit the kingdom of God” (cf. Eph. 5:5-6). “
Why such strong warnings against sexual sin? Because God is holy and hates all sin. But also because sexual sin is unique and especially egregious. Why? Because it’s sinning against our own body and because it undermines the beauty of marriage.
Listen to Paul in 1 Corinthians 6:18, “Flee sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.” Paul then talks about our body being the place the Spirit of Christ lives. His argument is that, when we put our sexual organs in places they don’t belong, we’re putting Christ in places he doesn’t belong. The next time you’re tempted to look at porn or mess around with someone who’s not your wife, remember that the Spirit of Christ is literally in your body. God hates sexual sin because it hurts the body in which his Holy Spirit lives.
And then there’s Hebrews 13:4, which says, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” God hates sexual sin because it cheapens the covenant relationship meant to reveal his love.
“Adultery” refers to unfaithfulness in marriage and “sexual immorality” refers to every other kind of sexual expression that takes place outside of the marriage covenant. Many ask, “How far is too far?” The list of things we can do and can’t do sexually is simple: all sexual expression belongs in marriage. Everything else is out of bounds.
This means that homosexual attraction or behavior, having sex with someone who isn’t your spouse, lusting after someone who isn’t your spouse, looking at any form of pornography, and doing anything sexual with someone who isn’t your spouse is wrong.
Our culture tells us that we’re free to do whatever we want with our bodies. We’re told that expressing ourselves sexually is an essential part of our identity. But, brothers and sisters, God says that our bodies belong to him, not to us. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”
God loves sex so much that he’s angered by it’s misuse. This is the truth about sexual behavior.
The Truth about Sexual Abuse
As I’ve talked about these things, your heart may be filling with shame because of things you’ve done sexually. But your heart may also be full of shame because of sexual things done to you. The church must be a safe place to talk about the truth of sexual abuse.
Many don’t want to acknowledge or even think about what was done to them. We all have a natural reluctance to face hard things. Many Christians think that facing past sins is somehow discounting the finished work of Christ. Dan Allender says it like this: “We pretend we’re fine, when, in fact, we know that something is troubling our soul. A dull ache occasionally floats to the surface, or stalking memories return in dreams or in odd thoughts during the day. But why bother about such strange feelings when our salvation is guaranteed and life’s task is clear: trust and obey?” But if God is the one who’s writing our story, then does hiding and denying the past honor him?
Brothers and sisters, I plead with you to face the things you need to face and be honest about what you need to be honest about. Truth always sets us free. God wants to heal you. But you must first admit that you’re hurt.
You may be thinking, “Well, I haven’t been sexually abused.” That’s wonderful, praise the Lord. There are so many others who need your ministry.
But could it be possible that you have been abused and you don’t realize or remember it? After decades and decades of counseling ministry, Dan Allender makes the following astonishing claim. He says, “At times, I wonder if every person in the world, male and female, young and old, has been sexually abused.” He says we should consider whether we’ve ever been in a situation where we felt sexually uncomfortable, awkward, or debased? Many of us would answer, “Of course!” But we fail to see how that was sexual abuse.
For the sake of clarity, Allender defines sexual abuse like this: “Sexual abuse is any contact or interaction (visual, verbal, or psychological) between a child/adolescent and an adult when the child/adolescent is being used for the sexual stimulation of the perpetrator or any other person.” He’s dealing specifically with childhood sexual abuse, but this applies to adults as well. Any unwanted sexual contact or sexual interaction that’s visual, verbal, or psychological that you’ve experienced, as a child or as an adult, is sexual abuse.
If this is you, please don’t tune me out; please don’t turn away from your wounds. Pretending that things are fine is the enemy of lasting change. The gut-wrenching but healing work of restoration can’t begin until the problem is fully faced.
Why bring this up? Because this applies to many of you. Because I love you. And because I want you to get the help and healing that you need. Sexual abuse is damaging and soul-distorting and affecting many of you. I don’t have to know who you are. But you need to seek help from someone. Nick and I would be happy to help. My wife Suzy would be an excellent resource for ladies. There are an abundance of godly, professional counselors who can help. I know you’re reluctant and afraid of what may happen. But I also know that Jesus stands ready to help and heal you if you’ll trust him.
We End with Grace
These are the truths about gender, marriage, sex, sexual sin, and sexual abuse that we must stand on as those who profess to follow the God of the Bible. These are the truths that our church will stand on, even if it means I have to go to jail one day or we loose our tax exempt status or are sued or maligned or mistreated in any way. These are the truths we ask our members to stand on. If at any point, you decide that this is not what you believe about sexuality, please let Nick or I know. We’d love to talk and pray with you.
We started with truth; we’ll end with grace. As we stand on the truths about sexuality, we must stand there with grace. This means that we’ll humbly commend the gospel to sinners, even the worst sexual sinners. As our Statement says, “We believe that God offers redemption and restoration to all who confess and forsake their sin, seeking His mercy and forgiveness through Jesus Christ (Acts 3:19-21; Rom. 10:9-10; 1 Cor. 6:9-11).”
No Salvation without Repentance
The reason why these issues are so serious for the church are far bigger than religious liberty concerns. The more serious reason is that professing Christians who’re redefining and reinterpreting what the Bible clearly says about marriage, gender, and sexuality are actually preaching a false gospel.
The Bible emphatically does not say that you can live however you want, sleep with whoever you want, marry whoever you want, be any gender you want and still be saved as long as you believe in Jesus. If there’s no repentance, there’s not true faith.
In 1 Corinthians 6, after Paul says that the sexually immoral and adulterous will not inherit the kingdom of God, he then says, “And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God” (v. 11). Salvation brought about a change in people’s lives. Those who live lives that the Bible forbids, with no desire to change, cannot in any meaningful way say or think that they’ve repented and believed the good news.
The Good News that We Hold Out to the World
The good news of the gospel is that everyone who turns away from their sin and puts all their hope in Jesus will be forgiven of all their sexual sin. The gospel says that Jesus will accept every sinner who comes to him. The gospel says that God wants to give us grace instead of wrath. The gospel says that we can be cleansed of all our sexual filth. This is the message of grace that the church has been given to give to a world full of sexual sinners.
While we stand on the truth of a biblical sexual ethic, we stand there with the gospel of grace. In one hand, we hold out the truth about what’s really real about our sexuality. In the other hand, we hold out a Christ who’s really serious about saving sexual sinners.
Holding Out Truth Graciously
But we must take this one step further. As we hold out truth about sexuality, and as we hold out grace for sexual sinners, we must do so graciously. This is the last thing our Statement says, “While we affirm that the gospel of Christ declares that we are to communicate the message of the gospel, we shall do so in a manner befitting of Christ and the teachings of the Holy Scriptures. We believe that every person must be afforded compassion, love, kindness, respect, and dignity (Mark 12:28-31; Luke 6:31). Hateful and harassing behavior or attitudes directed toward any individual are to be repudiated and are not in accord with Scripture nor the doctrines of Preston Highlands Baptist Church.”
Jesus says in Luke 6:31, “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” We must talk to people about their sin in ways we’d like people to talk to us about our sin. Paul says in 2 Timothy 2:24-26, “And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.”
The way we speak to people who’re believing and living out demonic lies is with patience and gentleness. How will people believe our message of grace if it’s not delivered graciously? The Church must receive the refugees of the sexual revolution with grace, love, tenderness, compassion, patience, and mercy. We must not expect people to change overnight. We must understand that every person is made in the image of God. We must not ostracize those in the LGBTQ community with hateful and unkind rhetoric or postures of self-righteousness.
We must remember that in the same place where Paul condemns sexual immorality, he also condemns greed, jealously, crude joking, coveting, and drunkenness. His point is that anyone who makes a home for any type of sin in the house of their life reveals that they don’t belong to God. God hates your secret sins just as much as LGBTQ people’s public sins.
The church’s sexual ethic must be rooted in truth and lived out with grace. Truth is where we stand and grace is how we stand there.
Rich in Mercy
The Bible says that all creation groans under sin (Rom. 8:22). What about you? Where is your sexual life groaning? What sexual sin do you need to confess to God and to a brother or sister in Christ? What thoughts and temptations and sins are you battling? Maybe it’s same-sex attraction, gender dysphoria, desiring someone who’s not your spouse, frequent porn use and masturbation, messing around with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Maybe there’s past sexual sin you’ve never confessed to God, or never talked about. Maybe there’s sexual abuse that needs to be addressed.
Wherever you are sexually, however your sexual life is groaning, there’s one thing you need to know: God is rich in mercy. Brother or sister in Christ, do you think that your sexual sin has disqualified you from receiving God’s mercy? Do you think that God is going to take back his mercy from you? Do you struggle to receive the mercy of God in Christ?
If this is you, I can’t think of a better thing to say to you than what Dane Ortlund says to us in his book Gentle and Lowly:
Perhaps you have difficulty receiving the rich mercy of God in Christ not because of what others have done to you but because of what you’ve done to torpedo your life, maybe through one big, stupid decision or maybe through ten thousand little ones. You have squandered his mercy, and you know it.
To you I say, do you know what Jesus does with those who squander his mercy? He pours out more mercy. God is rich in mercy. That’s the whole point.
Whether we have been sinned against or have sinned ourselves into misery, the Bible says God is not tightfisted with mercy but openhanded, not frugal but lavish, not poor but rich.
That God is rich in mercy means that your regions of deepest shame and regret are not hotels through which divine mercy passes but homes in which divine mercy abides.
It means the things about you that make you cringe most, make him hug hardest.
It means his mercy is not calculating and cautious, like ours. It is unrestrained, flood-like, sweeping, magnanimous.
It means our haunting shame is not a problem for him, but the very thing he loves to work with.
It means our sins do not cause his love to take a hit. Our sins cause his love to surge forward all the more.
It means on that day when we stand before him, quietly, unhurriedly, we will weep with relief, shocked at how impoverished a view of his mercy-rich heart we had.