Strangers Who Are Your Family
Have you ever met a stranger and, after talking with them for a moment, you learn that they’re a Christian and you suddenly have this immediate sense of connection? Have you ever been on a mission trip and met Christians on the other side of the world and, despite massive cultural and language differences, you quickly developed an affection for them? Why do we often find instant fellowship with believers we’ve never met before? Why do some strangers suddenly feel like family when we learn that they’re Christ-followers?
The reason this happens is because God the Father answered the prayer of God the Son in John 17:20-23. Jesus’ final prayer before he went to the cross was for the unity of his followers. The Father heard and answered that prayer. Jesus’ church is one in him. There are millions of local churches in the world. Thousands of denominations. But Jesus only has one bride, one body, one temple, one house.
If Unity, Why Division?
You may be thinking, “If God answered Jesus’ prayer, why is there so much division among Christians? Why are there so many denominations? So many churches? So much fighting and arguing and disagreeing? If the church is so unified, why does it look so divided?”
Much can be said here. Let me start by saying that the existence of lots of churches and groups of churches (called denominations) doesn’t necessarily mean that God’s people aren’t unified. God never intended for all Christians to live in the same place, at the same time, and gather in the same building for worship. That’s as impractical as it is unnecessary.
What if the instinctive pull we have toward Christians we don’t even know tells us that there is a real unity of God’s people that we often miss or overlook? What if there is a true unity among those who believe the gospel, even if we disagree about baptism or spiritual gifts or Reformed theology, even if we go to different churches, belong to different denominations or no denomination, or live on the other side of the world?
Cosmic and Congregational
The only two ways that the New Testament uses the word “church” is to describe the cosmic church and the local church. The cosmic church is all believers from all times and all places, gathered before God right now. This is what the writer of Hebrews is referring to when he says, “But you have come to…the assembly of the firstborn who are enrolled in heaven” (12:22-23).
The cosmic church is why we can say that God answered Jesus’ prayer in John 17. Unity is something that God’s people have already been given. In Christ, every Christian is already and permanently united to every other Christian. Just as my children came from me and belong to me, they therefore also belong forever to one another as brother and sister.
Local congregations are gatherings of believers at a specific place and time. Local churches are where Jesus’ cosmic church is revealed on the earth. Every Christian has dual citizenship. As Paul says to the Philippian Christians, “To all the saints in Christ Jesus who are in Philippi” (1:1). Every Christian is in Christ and should be in a specific local church, a local expression of the heavenly reality.
The cosmic church and the local church are related as cause and effect. One is permanent and one is a temporary expression of the rule of Christ over his people. The church is God’s people assembled before God. This assembly is both in heaven and on earth.
Life in an Earthly Assembly in Light of Cosmic Realities
This dual reality helps us understand why Paul talks the way he does in Ephesians 4:1-6. In these verses, he tells the church in Ephesus to live a certain way because of the unity that they already have in Christ in the cosmic church. He roots our life together in local congregations (vv. 1-3) in cosmic realities (vv. 4-6).
Paul’s argument is that local churches should live in light of cosmic realities. The “calling to which you have been called” refers to the things that God has done for us in Christ (1:3, 7, 11; 2:6). In light of these realities, churches are called “to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called” (v. 1). Because of the cosmic things that are true of God’s people, local groups of gathered Christians must live differently. Becoming a Christian and joining a church means signing up for a new life.
Walk with Humility
In verses 2-3, Paul begins to flesh out what this new life should look like. Notice that each of these directives only makes sense in the context of relationships. Paul isn’t calling us to some virtuous inner life. He gives us five relational directives. He wants us to push beyond superficial niceness and into relationships that reflect heaven.
First, he says we must walk “with all humility.” In a world that says success is achieved by being aggressive and dynamic and influential and powerful, humility often seems impractical and is seen by many as weakness. But Paul puts it at the top of his list. Why? Probably because pride is the most dangerous threat to the unity of the church. Unity is where Paul is heading in the next verses, but he starts with humility because unity is impossible without humility. Churches won’t stick together if everyone is living for themselves.
Pride is ugly anywhere it’s seen. But it’s especially ugly when it’s found in the church. When we see our Savior and Friend Jesus hanging on a bloody cross, and remember that he hung there for us, pride is the last thing we should feel. Our Lord humbly submitted himself to a shameful and embarrassing death for our sake. If he did that for us, how can we live in pride? How can we think that we’re superior to anyone?
Walk with Gentleness
The next relational directive Paul gives is that we should walk in gentleness. Gentleness isn’t a synonym for weakness. The word was sometimes used of domesticated animals. The idea is “strength under control.” It’s the ability of a strong personality to master themselves in order to serve others. Christopher Green describes what this could look like. He says that gentleness is “how we relate to people who are perhaps less able or gifted than we are. The shy person who finds it hard to contribute in a Bible study. The older person who is slower in the coffee (line). Gentleness will mean taking time with them and for them, listening before we speak.” A gentle person isn’t weak. They’re self-controlled. They don’t assert their opinions or personal rights or preferences. Rather, they use their strength to bless and encourage others.
“I am Gentle and Lowly in Heart”
Humility and gentleness should be found in the body of Christ because they were found in the person of Christ. Jesus described himself as “gentle and lowly in heart” (Matt. 11:29). The word for “gentle” is used elsewhere to mean “meek,” like when Jesus says that “the meek will inherit the earth” (Matt. 5:5). It’s also translated as “humble,” like when Jesus comes into Jerusalem “humble and mounted on a donkey” (Matt. 21:5).
Jesus is saying that his heart is meek, humble, gentle. He’s not harsh, trigger-happy, easily exasperated, or reactionary. Dane Ortlund, in his book Gentle and Lowly, says that Jesus “is the most understanding person in the universe. The posture most natural to him is not a pointed finger but open arms.” This is the kind of gentleness we must show one another.
The word for “lowly” is usually translated as “humble.” But the word doesn’t typically refer to humility as a virtue, but humility in the sense of destitution. It’s usually used to describe someone who’s been beaten up by life’s circumstances. Paul uses this word when he tells us to “not be haughty, but associate with the lowly” (Rom. 12:16). The “lowly” are the socially unimpressive. They’re not the life of the party. They’re the kind of person you wouldn’t chose to hang out with if you can avoid it.
What’s Jesus’ point? His point is that he’s accessible. Yes, he’s holy and glorious and ruling over all things. But there’s also no one else more approachable than Jesus Christ. He’s not so high that you can’t reach him, so rich that you can’t know him, or so powerful that you can’t be comfortable around him. This is the kind of humility we must show one another.
For those who see their need and come to Jesus, his heart is “gentle and lowly.” Gentle-lowliness isn’t how Jesus is occasionally when he’s in a good mood. It’s who he is. He can’t change his nature any more than we can change our eye color.
For all who turn away from their sins and surrender to his love, his heart is open, his heart is kind, and his heart is ready and willing to give you the rest you so long for and can’t seem to find anywhere else. Gentle Jesus has rest for the weary and burdened today. He has rest for your soul if you’ll come to him.
We Must Be Jesus’ Heart
The church’s heart must reflect Jesus’s heart. We must be “gentle and lowly” toward one another. We must walk “with all humility and gentleness” (Eph. 4:2). People should meet the heart of Jesus in the church, in our relationships with each other. Where else will people find Jesus’ heart if not in his body?
Walk with Patience, Bearing with One Another in Love
The next two relational directives go nicely together. Paul says that we must walk “with “patience, bearing with one another in love.” What is patience? Patience is gentleness in action. Patience is allowing others to speak without interrupting. Patience is giving people room to make mistakes. Patience is carrying the burdens of a brother or sister who’s hurting for as long as it takes. Patience is remembering that God’s work is often slow and imperceptible. Patience is remembering that change is a process, not an event. Patience is super counter-cultural nowadays because patience says that slow is okay.
“Bearing with one another” is closely related to patience. One translation says that we should “make allowance for each other’s faults” (NLT). We must remember that our brothers and sisters won’t be perfect. They, like us, will say hurtful things to us intentionally or unintentionally. They’ll have bad days, quick tempers, annoying habits, and make gossipy comments.
The church is made up of redeemed sinners. Therefore, we must prepare ourselves to be hurt, misunderstood, ignored, and underappreciated. We must remember that God has borne with us, that he’s patiently endured our quirks, that he celebrates our uniqueness, and that his love covers our sins. How many times have we upset the Lord with our words, thoughts, or actions? How many times has he lost his patience with us?
Love is the reason we can do any of these things. Think of it, why do you stick with your family members even though they can be annoying and frustrating and sometimes judgmental or rude or immature? Because you love them. We love them; therefore, we stick it out.
So it must be in the church of Jesus Christ. We stick it out because we love one another. Yes, there are times when serious and unrepentant sin demands church discipline. But even that is pursued out of love. Peter says, “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Pet. 4:8).
Unity of the Spirit
These relational virtues should characterize any church. But Paul says in verse 3 that “walking in a manner worthy of our calling” also means remembering that, in the Spirit, we already have a unity. This cosmic reality is the foundation of any local church.
Notice the word “eager.” The church should be passionate about the health of relationships in the church. Church members should want to work hard to preserve the unity of the church. It’s easy to stay in little cliques, where you only talk to all the people just like you and not make time for others. But Paul is calling us out of easy and superficial unity and urging us to be enthusiastic about loving all our family members.
Notice the word “maintain.” The church’s “eagerness” is not meant to create something, but to “maintain” something. Paul isn’t saying, “Hey church, unity is a nice thing you should really care about!” He’s saying, “Hey church, unity is a gift of the Spirit already given to you! Therefore, maintain it!”
Through the cross of Christ, God overcame all the primary obstacles that keep us apart from one another. Through the cross, God brought us to him and to each other (2:11-16). Jesus’ death brought together the people of God once and for all. Unity is ours in him. We must, therefore, fervently work to preserve what Jesus died for. Local churches reveal the glory of the cosmic church by being passionate about maintaining their unity.
How Can We Do This?
What are some practical ways we can do this? First, become a member of a local church. Membership in the comic church is affirmed by becoming a member in a local church. Second, commit yourself eagerly to the ministry of your local church. Serve through attendance and giving and prayer and discipling relationships. Third, pray for God to grow you in humility and patience and gentleness and bearing with other church members and love. Fourth, be quick to forgive other Christians who sin against you, as Christ has forgiven you. Fifth, don’t allow any gossip or slander to pass from your lips or across your ears without a gentle correction. One of the deadliest things to a church’s unity is gossip. Be humble and courageous enough to talk to people instead of about people. Sixth, make every effort to enter the pain and joy of other church members. Nothing builds intimacy and unity faster than “weeping with those who weep and rejoicing with those who rejoice” (Rom. 12:15). Seventh, commit yourself to grow in your understanding of God and the gospel. True unity is built upon the truth of God, not a pastor’s personality or style of music or children’s programs or ethnic makeup of the church. Unity that lasts is unity built on truth.
Seven “Ones”
In verses 1-3, Paul tells the church in Ephesus to live a certain way because of the unity that they already have in the Spirit. Then, in verses 4-6, he explicitly roots our life together in local churches in cosmic realities. These seven “ones” describe the invisible unity that God has already accomplished. Each of these “ones” are shared by all Christians, everywhere.
First, there is “one body” (v. 4). How can this be since there are so many churches? The answer, as I’ve said, is that “in Christ” all believers are gathered before God forever. Every Christian, dead or alive, is taking part of his assembly right now (Heb. 12:22-24). In a sense, then, we’re always in church. This “one body” therefore isn’t something we need to work for through merging churches and denominations, while ignoring theological differences. It’s something that already exists and will exist forever.
Second, there is “one Spirit” (v. 4). Everyone who’s believed the gospel has been given the Holy Spirit (1:13). The Spirit is working to make the heavenly assembly a reality on the earth (2:22). One day, the cosmic church will become the visible church on a new earth. Until then, the Spirit is working to call people to Christ and transform them into his image. In this passage, we’ve seen that his transforming work takes place in our relationships, so that our earthly, visible relationships look more like the heavenly, invisible ones.
Third, there is “one hope” (v. 4). Before we were in Christ, we were lost and “had no hope” (2:12). This doesn’t mean we were gloomy pessimists. It means we were outside of God’s great plan to redeem the world. But, through faith in Christ, we’ve been given a new hope. This isn’t blind optimism or “I hope so.” It’s a certainty that God will do what he promised to do. This “one hope” helps explain why Christians stand out as strangely optimistic about the future even when things in the present look so bleak.
Fourth, there is “one Lord” (v. 5). Jesus Christ is Lord of the church. If he’s our Lord, then we’re his servants. He’s the boss, we’re not. How can we profess him in what we believe while denying him in the way we behave?
Fifth, there is “one faith” (v. 5). This could be taken objectively, “the faith,” or subjectively, “my faith.” Commentators debate which is best, but both fit within a discussion of the church’s unity. All Christians have a faith in the faith. If we don’t have faith in the faith, we aren’t part of God’s people. This helps explain why we have immediate connection with believers we’ve never met before. We have a common faith in a common Lord.
Sixth, there is “one baptism” (v. 5). Oh how we wish Paul would’ve explained how he practiced baptism! At the very least, this suggests a uniformity of practice among the earliest Christians. Paul assumes that a church in one place would accept the baptism of someone who was baptized in another place. Given the fact that there are no examples of and no teaching on infant baptism in the New Testament, and given that there are many examples of believer’s baptism by immersion, it’s safe to assume that the “one baptism” that Paul says all believers everywhere share is believer’s baptism by immersion.
Seventh, and finally, Paul says there is “one God and Father of all” (v. 6). This echoes Deuteronomy 6:4, “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.” Paul takes this prayer of blessing for the Israelites and says that the one God of Israel is also the “Father of all.” Both Jews and Gentiles who believe the gospel are part of his people. This God and Father of all sovereignly rules “over all” his people, works “through all” his people, and individually knows, or is “in all” his people. None of God’s people get left out of God’s work in the world.
Heaven on Earth
Each of the “ones” are shared by all Christians, everywhere. They describe the invisible unity that God has already accomplished. Paul’s argument is that local churches should live in light of these cosmic realities. Our position in heaven is meant to shape our life on earth. Our unity is meant to reveal our destiny.
Psalm 133:1, 3, “Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!…For there the Lord has commanded the blessing, life forevermore.”