“See How They Love One Another”
In the second century, Christianity continued to spread across the Roman Empire. But the Romans weren’t always very friendly to their new Christian neighbors. Christians were objects of suspicion because they’d given up the behaviors of their pagan lifestyle. Wild rumors spread about what Christians taught and did when they met together. For example, some thought they were cannibals because they talked about “eating the flesh” and “drinking the blood” of Jesus when they referred to the Lord’s Supper.
During this time, there were several church leaders who sought to defend Christianity and Christians. These teachers were called the “apologists.” One of these apologists was a man named Tertullian, a church leader from Carthage (modern day Tunisia in North Africa). In one of his books, Tertullian argued that attacks against Christianity were made out of jealousy. He said that pagans envied Christians because they had a kind of life that they didn’t have.
What was it that was so enviable among these early Christians? Was it their wealth and possessions? Their big houses and nice chariots? Their political influence and power? Their social standing? No, it wasn’t any of these things because Christians in general had none of this in the second century.
What was it then that made Roman pagans jealous of their Christian neighbors? What did the Christians have that they did not? Here’s Tertullian’s answer, “It is…the deeds of a love so noble that lead many to put a brand upon us. See how they love one another, they say, for they themselves are animated by mutual hatred; how they are ready even to die for one another, they say, for they themselves will sooner put to death.”[1]
What did the Pagans envy about the Christians? Their “noble love,” which showed itself through “deeds” and through a readiness “even to die for one another.” The Christians had noble love for one another. The pagans had “mutual hatred.” The Christians were ready to die for each other. The pagans were ready to put to death.
The acted-out, tangible, visible, “I will gladly die for you” love between Christians was so powerful and real and compelling that it made the pagans envy the Christians because they had something that they didn’t.
The Church’s Love
We’re in the middle of a study on the church. Today we’re going to consider the church’s love. To do that, we’re going to look at one of the most repeated commands of the New Testament, “love one another.” It’s first found coming off of Jesus’ lips in John 13:34-35. In verse 33, Jesus tells the disciples that he’s about to depart and tells them that they cannot come with him. Then he tells them what he expects of them while he’s away (vv. 34-35).
A New Commandment
Professor D. A. Carson says that this command is “simple enough for a toddler to memorize and appreciate, profound enough that the most mature believers are repeatedly embarrassed at how poorly they comprehend it and put it into practice.”[2] This command is simple to say, difficult to do.
Notice that Jesus calls it a “commandment.” He’s not giving advice, counsel, or different options to choose from on what to do after he leaves. He “commands” his disciples to love one another. This implies moral “oughtness,” or obligation. It’d be wrong to not do it.
The command comes with weight because it comes from Jesus. It’s always appropriate to consider the source of a command. For example, if one of my children tells me to turn on the fan, I may do it. But if Suzy tells me to turn on the fan, I must do it. A command from a coworker comes with less weight than a command from your boss. It’s always good and wise to consider who’s making the rules. If Jesus gives a command, it carries the authority of God himself. With the Father and the Spirit, he made the world, so he has a right to make the rules. Not obeying this command is pridefully assuming that you can claim to follow the God who made the world without obeying his rules.
Notice who the command is for, “that you love one another.” Jesus is talking to his followers, not the whole world. Sure, it’d be great if everyone everywhere loved each other. But Jesus’ command is much narrower than that. And it gets even narrower. He says that his followers are supposed to “love one another.” The command is for Christians to love each other, not for Christians to love people in general. Jesus tells us elsewhere to love our neighbors and our enemies (Mt. 22:39, 5:44). But here he’s telling the people who follow him to love other people who’re following him.
Which Christians Are We Supposed to Love?
But which Christians are we supposed to love? Well, in one sense, all of them. The problem is that we don’t know all the Christians in the world, so how can we demonstrate our love toward millions of Christians we don’t know?
Praying for them and working to provide things they need is a good place to start. But other than that, there’s not much we can do to show them our love, and that’s okay because the pattern of the New Testament is Christians loving the other Christians close to them.
The followers of Jesus that we’re commanded to love are the people we’re following Jesus with. In other words, this command applies most specifically to members of the same local church. We may not know all Christians, but through church membership, we enter into a relationship with a group of specific Christians.
The Bible knows of no Christian who lives the Christian life apart from submitting to a body of believers. One of the primary ways the Bible assumes church membership is through the “one another” passages. There are almost sixty of these in the New Testament. Some examples are: “care for one another” (1 Cor. 12:25), “serve one another” (Gal. 5:13), “forgive one another” (Eph. 4:32), “encourage one another” (1 Thess. 5:11), “offer hospitality to one another” (1 Pet. 4:9), “confess your sins to one another and pray for one another” (Jas. 5:16).
How can a Christian fulfill these “one another” commands with Christians they don’t know? How do we know who to pray for, serve, encourage, and love if we don’t join a local church? These commands assume that the Christians who obey them have made a real commitment to one another. We call this “real commitment” church membership. Church membership creates the arena for us to live out these “one another” commands. When we join a church, we know exactly who we’re supposed to love, serve, and care for. They’ll be a class on church membership in two weeks for anyone considering committing themselves to this local body.
How Are Church Members Supposed to Love One Another?
Jesus’ command is for his followers to love other followers, especially the ones in their local church. But what should this love look like? Jesus tells us in the last half of verse 34, “Just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.” Church members are supposed to love each other the way that Jesus has loved us.
How did Jesus love us? What does his love for us look like? The beginning of John 13 gives us one of the best pictures of Jesus’ love. In verses 1-5, we see that Jesus loves his followers as a servant. Jesus didn’t just have nice thoughts about his friends, he took initiative, humbled himself, and washed their dirty, stinky feet.
Jesus’ love even reached his enemy. Judas was at the table that night, and Jesus knew exactly what he was going to do (vv. 21-27), but he nonetheless gently scrubbed the feet of the man who would sell him out for some silver.
The Master Became a Servant
The most remarkable thing about this event is that Jesus was the last person who should’ve been doing the washing. That was reserved for the slaves and servants. Jesus even reminds them that he owns the world (v. 3). He knows who he is and where he’s going, and yet he wants to show his friends his love in a really tangible way.
The reason he did this is found in verses 12-17. He did this to give us an example to follow (v. 15). Those who follow him, must literally follow him, must do what he did. Jesus is saying, “If I’m the master and I’m willing to be a servant, then the servants should also be willing to be servants.” Jesus’ position didn’t exempt him from being a servant.
If God has given you a position of leadership, a position where you exercise authority over other people, you’re not exempt from getting your hands dirty. The best leaders are servant leaders. They don’t just dictate, they do. So, husbands, elders, deacons, employers, campus leaders, your call is to take up the towel and basin and serve those under your care, even the ones who don’t like you.
I think everyone is a leaders of sorts, because everyone has some measure of influence over other people. Notice the promise that Jesus gives to those who use their influence to serve others (v. 17). There’s blessing in doing servant leadership, not knowing about it.
At one of the churches Suzy and I visited while we were out of town, the pastor asked a question that was so convicting, one I needed to hear. He said, “Do you want to be a servant or be known as a servant?” Serving to be seen is not serving, it’s pride. Serving regardless of whether we’re seen or not is what brings the blessing.
Our deacons and deaconesses are good examples of this. Matt Cole, our deacon of fellowship, Justin Heard, our deacon of hospitality, Jeremy and Stephanie Housel, our deacons of Member Care, Rose Kimball, our deaconess of finance, Jared Puls, our deacon of public worship, and Jeff Thompson, our deacon of media, all serve quietly behind the scenes, doing so many things to make the ministry of Preston Highlands possible. Thank you brothers and sisters for your servant leadership.
Jesus Loved Us as a Suffering Servant
Jesus says we’re to “love one another, just as he loved us,” and he loved us as a servant. But, more specifically, Jesus loved us as a suffering servant. When we look back at the exchange between Jesus and Peter when he was washing his feet, we see Jesus pointing us to the ultimate act of service he’ll perform (vv. 6-10). The foot-washing has a deeper, symbolic meaning that points to Jesus’ atoning, sin-cleansing death. Jesus is saying, “Unless I take away your sin, you can have no part in me.”
Jesus’ love was demonstrated through the foot-washing, but even the foot-washing pointed beyond itself to the supreme display of Jesus’ love – his cross. Jesus’ giving up of himself on the cross is the best picture of “noble love” we could ever see. The apostle John says this explicitly in 1 John 3:16, “By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us.” And 4:10, “In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.”
How do we know what love is? By looking to the cross. Jesus’ death for our sins, his willingness to absorb the wrath of God like a sponge for us, to become a curse for us, to be forsaken by the Father for us, to be publicly humiliated and tortured and mocked and ultimately die shows us a love that the world had never known.
The good news is that all those who turn away from their sin and put all their hope in Jesus’ death will be cleansed and forgiven. When we trust in Jesus’ work for us, the Bible says we’re adopted into God’s family as sons and daughters. The God who created you and chose you before time began delights to give you his name, to call you into his house.
Many of us think that God is mildly displeased or annoyed with us. But, if we’re in Christ, we’re loved and cherished by God. God not only loves us, he also likes us. He’s happy to call you his child, he delights in you, he’s pleased with you, he made you and sees you and cares for you. He loves you with a perfect, delight-filled love. The self-giving love of God, as seen in Jesus’ death on the cross, can be yours for free. All you have to do is receive it, embrace it, delight in it, trust in it. Have you?
How Can We Love One Another?
The noble love of God cost him something. It cost him the life of his precious Son. God didn’t speak his love to the world, he showed his love to the world. True love is always demonstrated. True love results in action. John says this plainly in 1 John 3:17-18, “If anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.” True love comes from a heart that’s open to the needs of others and results in action.
What could this look like in our church? What would true, noble love look like at Preston Highlands? What does an open heart to the needs of others that results in action look like? I thought of four things.
First, see people as people, not as abstractions or ideas. What do I mean? It’s easy to see people as “things” that are useful or useless, things in our way or things that’ll help us, as problems to solve or burdens to bear or opportunities to help us get what we want. But people are people. They’re not cogs in the machine of your life.
Paul Baumer, a German soldier and the main character in Erich Maria Remarque’s novel All Quiet On the Western Front, kills a French soldier during the trench warfare of World War I. As Baumer lays in the trench with the dead Frenchman, he says to him, “Comrade, I did not want to kill you. If you jumped in here again, I would not do it, if you would be sensible too. But you were only an idea to me before, an abstraction that lived in my mind and called forth its appropriate response. It was that abstraction I stabbed. But now, for the first time, I see you are a man like me. I thought of your hand-grenades, of your bayonet, of your rifle, now I see your wife and your face and our fellowship. Forgive me, comrade. We always see it too late.” [3]
People, even your enemies, are people just like you. Your fellow church members have a family and a history and a story, just like you. They have hopes and dreams and fears and pain, just like you. One of the reasons we often have sadness at funerals is because we didn’t get to know the person like we wanted to, like we should have. “We always see it too late.” We always see the personhood of the persons around us too late. The person sitting next to you wants to be known and seen and loved. Do you know them, see them, and love them?
Second, one way to do this is to not dominate conversations. When you talk to someone, make the conversation about them, not about you, so that when they walk away, they know you care about them. Talking about yourself is easy. But working hard to ask good questions and listen well is a way to serve and love your brothers and sisters.
Third, don’t live on an island. We won’t be able to love one another if we’re not around one another. Make yourself available to your brothers and sisters in Christ. Go to a community group, come to our training class on Sunday mornings, get to church fifteen minutes early and plan to stay fifteen minutes late, meet someone for lunch or coffee, reach out to one another. A simple text message telling someone that you’re praying for them says “I love you” in an amazingly simple way.
Fourth, take initiative in building relationships. Love is never passive. Love is always active. I wonder, do you feel loved by people in our church? What do you wish others did to show you that you’re loved? Now, go do that for others. Remember that Jesus said the blessing is in doing what he says, not in wanting other people to do what he says for you.
A Promise after the Command
Back in John 13, Jesus tells us that something amazing happens when we love this way (v. 35). The command is followed by a promise. When we love one another, the world “will know” that we’re following Jesus.
This is why our life together as a church is one of the most important parts of our evangelism. You may struggle to share your faith with people, but if you’re loving other church members well, you’re showing the world what the love of Jesus looks like. Yes, share the gospel too. But don’t shrink evangelism down to just the thing we do as individuals. The church as a whole shares the gospel when we love one another.
People take notice when this happens because this kind of love is just as unusual now as it was in Tertullian’s day. This literally happened a couple months ago when Suzy was really sick. So many of you brought food over to our house each evening that our neighbors noticed and asked what was going on. It gave me such great joy to tell them that it was our church loving and caring for us so well. Who knew that dropping a bag of Chick Fil-A off could reveal the love of Jesus!
“Uproot the Evil in the Fields that We Know”
None of us can do everything. We aren’t called to do all the loving that needs to be done for every person. As Paul says, “As we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone” (Gal. 6:10). And as Gandalf says in The Lord of the Rings, “It is not our part to master all the tides of the world, but to do what is in us for the succour of those years wherein we are set, uprooting the evil in the fields that we know, so that those who live after may have clean earth to till. What weather they shall have is not ours to rule.” [4]
We’re called to do what we can, when we can, where we can, while we can. We can’t “master all the tides of the world,” but we can “uproot the evil in the fields that we know.”
How is your ministry of love in the field of your life? Does the world see “the deeds of a love so noble” among us that they say, “See how they love one another…how they are ready even to die for one another!”
Jesus, the Son of God, has loved, served, suffered, and delighted in you. Is what he’s done for you overflowing into the lives of the brothers and sisters who’re sitting around you right now?