“Because I Said So”
One of the things we all hated hearing from our parents when we were growing up was, “Because I said so.” Our parents would sometimes answer this way when we asked them why we had to do something. “Why should I pick up the books on the floor?” “Because I said so.” “Why do I have to brush my teeth?” “Because I said so.” Our parents could play this card anytime they wanted because they were the parents and we were the kids. They didn’t have to give us reasons for everything they asked us to do. They had authority that allowed them to command things.
In the same way, God has the authority to command us to do whatever he wants us to do. He is God, he made us, he owns us, and he therefore has authority over us. He’s not obligated to give reasons why we should do the things he asks us to do. He could play the “Because I said so” card anytime he wants.
Reasons for Obedience
But God, in his kindness, and like a good parent, gives us reasons why we should obey him. Good parents will take the time to explain to their children why they should do certain things. Suzy and I tell Elisha and Gideon that they need to pick the books up because if we step on them it can damage them, and we don’t want to hurt our books because books are good gifts from God to help us learn. We tell Elisha to brush his teeth to get all the yucky germs out and so his teeth won’t fall out.
We expect them to obey, but we also help them to obey by giving them reasons why they should obey. This isn’t a way of shirking our authority over them. It’s how we use our authority to serve them. Sometimes we must say, “Because I said so,” and that’s a good enough reason. But many times we can say, “Here’s why you should do this or that.” Out of love, parents seek to compel obedience by sometimes giving their children reasons why they should obey.
This is what’s happening in our text this morning, Ephesians 5:1-6. This text is full of ethical commands. But interspersed throughout these verses are reasons why we should obey these commands. We should obey God just because he says so. But in his kindness, God often gives us reasons why we should obey him.
There are two parts to this message: commands and reasons. What we should do and why we should do it. These verses have five commands and five reasons why we should obey these commands.
Imitate God
The first command is that we should imitate God (v. 1). The verse begins with the word “therefore.” Paul is saying, “In light of what I’ve just said, be like God.” As we live out the kind of life Paul outlines in verses 25-32, we’ll become more and more like God. The word for “imitator” is mimetai, where we get our word for “mimic.” We’re to copy God, follow his example, do what he does, love what he loves, hate what he hates.
The verb “be” is in the present tense, which signifies a continuous action. This means that we must continuously become more and more like God. It’s not a one-time event. As Paul Tripp says, “Change is a process, not an event.” Becoming like God is a life-long pursuit, not a box we check after Sunday worship.
Walk In Love
This leads to the second command Paul gives in verse 2, “walk in love.” We obviously can’t imitate God in everything, so in this verse Paul explains more specifically that one of the primary ways we imitate God is by walking in love. To imitate God is to walk in love. Not walking in love is not following God’s example.
The word for “walk” refers to how we live and it’s also a present imperative verb. We must live in love, and we must do so continuously. Our thinking, attitudes, and behavior are to reflect the love of Christ. We sometimes wonder how we should treat a fellow church member. They may annoy us or may have sinned against us. What should our response be? “Walk in love.” Christians must love one another. God has loved us in ways we don’t deserve, so we must love people in ways they don’t deserve. God sacrificed much in order to love us. We also must love others in a self-sacrificing way.
Avoid Sexual Immorality and Greed
The third command is that Christians must totally avoid sexual immorality and greed (v. 3). The verb here is a present imperative verb. There must not be any immorality, impurity, or greed named among believers. They must continuously seek to walk in purity.
The term for “sexual immorality” is “porneia,” where our word for “pornography” comes from. It refers to any kind of sexual activity outside of marriage. “Impurity” refers to any form of unrestrained sexual behavior. Notice the little word “or.” “Greed” is distinguished from the first two by the word “or.” Paul moves from the acts of sin to their inner spring, from outward sins to inward cravings. We sin sexually because of an insatiable desire to have more, to have what isn’t ours. We greedily use others for our own pleasure. This is why the outward act of sexual sin is merely a symptom of a much deeper problem. We sin sexually because our hearts are selfish and greedy and covetous and want what isn’t ours to have.
We saw in 4:19 that the Gentiles who don’t know God are “greedy to practice every kind of impurity.” The unbeliever’s life is characterized by a desire to participate in more and more forms of sexual immorality. What do these passages mean for the Christian who consistently indulges in sexual sin? Are we deceiving ourselves to think that we can imitate God and walk in love and yet still live in habitual sexual sin? If this is you, there’s help and hope for you in Jesus Christ and in the church. But you have to want to change, you have to start hating the sin you love. Not wanting to change means you’re like the Gentiles who give themselves over to these practices with no worry of the consequences.
Paul goes on to say that sexual immorality “must not even be named” among believers. Believers should not only avoid such sins, but also avoid thinking and talking about them. Doing so could create an atmosphere in which they’re tolerated and even promoted.
This applies to what we watch on television. If we watch the clean version of shows that are full of immorality, aren’t we still endorsing the show? Vid Angel may save our eyes from seeing what we shouldn’t see, but an unbelieving world could think that these things are okay with us because they’re named among our favorite shows. There are certain things that must not be endorsed by Christians.
Avoid Inappropriate Speech
The fourth command is that believers should avoid inappropriate speech (v. 4a). I won’t dwell here long because this is similar to what we saw in 4:29 last week. Paul is applying the principle of verse 3 one step further. Sexual sin and sexual talk must be avoided. All three terms refer to a dirty mind that expresses itself in vulgar conversation. We see this in cat-calling and dirty jokes and sexual innuendo and some kinds of flirting. This kind of speaking is inappropriate for believers and must be avoided.
Give Thanks
The fifth command is at the end of verse 4. Instead of dirty joking, there must be thanksgiving among Christians. Instead of inappropriate speech, thanksgiving is how Christians talk. Immorality and impurity and greed are all self-centered. Thanksgiving is the exact opposite. Recognizing God’s generosity to us is a good antidote to self-centered living and speaking.
“Thanksgiving” is more than a holiday we celebrate once a year. It should be the banner over our whole life. It’s the recognition that God is the ultimate source of every blessing. It’s our response to God for what he’s done for us in Jesus Christ. It should accompany everything we do and is a mark of being filled with the Spirit (5:18, 20).
This is one reason why it’s good to pray before a meal. We wouldn’t have food apart from God. This is why we should tell our brothers and sisters in Christ that we’re thankful for them. They’re good gifts from God. This is why we give thanks to God even during trials because we know that through them he’s working to make us more like Jesus.
It’s easy to speak like the world speaks. It’s hard to speak with thanksgiving. But do it we must. Maybe it starts with a text message this afternoon to a church member, to someone who serves behind the scenes in the church. Maybe it means having a time of prayer where you only thank God for what he’s done for you or making a list of all the things you’re thankful for.
No matter what’s going on in our lives, we’re truly doing “better than we deserve.” We’ve sinned against the holy God who made us, broken his law, and only deserve his punishment. In love, he sent Jesus to die for us, so that all who trust him will be forgiven and live with him forever. The gospel teaches us that we should be the most thankful people in the world.
Because We Are Beloved Children
This leads us into the reasons why we should obey the commands given. Out of kindness, God gives us five reasons why we should obey him in this text.
First, we should obey because we’re his beloved children (v. 1). We should imitate God because we’re his kids. It’s scary how much we look and act like our parents sometimes. It shouldn’t be unusual for a child of God to look and act like God. No one is born a child of God. We must be born again by his Spirit and adopted into his family to be a child of God. “To all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God” (Jn. 1:12-13). We’ve received “the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, ‘Abba! Father!’” (Rom. 8:15).
God graciously decided that we should be part of his family. We didn’t pick him as our heavenly Father, he picked us. We didn’t maneuver our way into his home. He left the glory of his estate, came to the orphanage of our sin, and paid for our adoption with his own blood. And he did so because he loves us. “In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ” (Eph. 1:4-5). His adopting love should compel us to obey his commands.
Because Jesus Died for Us
The second reason we should obey God is because Jesus died for us (v. 2). We should “walk in love” because Jesus loved us enough to die for us. He “gave himself up for us.” Out of love, he substituted his life for ours. He gladly put himself forward as a “fragrant (or pleasing) offering and sacrifice to God” on our behalf.
Some don’t like the idea of Jesus dying in our place. It’s usually because they don’t like the idea of a holy and righteous God who demands a payment for sin. But penal substitution, or Christ bearing our penalty in our place, is the heart of the gospel. In the gospel, we learn that the holy and righteous God who demands a penalty for sin also provides the penalty. God put his own Son Jesus forward to take the penalty of our sin, bearing the punishment that we deserve. Jesus willingly obeyed the Father and “gave himself up for us.” His sacrifice was a pleasing aroma to God because it was a perfect sacrifice. Jesus was perfect in every way, perfectly atoning for our sin through his death. As Dr. Al Mohler says, “Jesus Christ met the full demands of the righteousness and justice of God against our sin. We either believer that or we do not.” Those who do believe it are given great reason to obey God. The God willing to sacrifice his own Son for our salvation is the God worthy of our lives.
Because We Are Saints
The third reason we should obey God is because we’re saints (v. 3). We should avoid all forms of immorality and impurity, and the greedy desires behind them, because those behaviors and desires are not “proper among saints.” “Saint” literally means “holy one.” Through faith in Christ, God makes us his “holy ones.” He clothes us with the righteousness of Christ so that, in his eyes, we look like Jesus. Despite how we feel or what we’ve done, we’re holy in God’s sight through faith in Christ.
We learned in chapter one that one of the reasons why God chose us to be his children is so that we would be holy (v. 4). God picked us to be his holy ones on the earth. Everyone who has trusted in Christ and repented of their sin is a saint, a holy one. Those who are holy should therefore be holy. Sin of any kind is “out of place” for the saints of God (v. 4). We should obey God’s commands because our lifestyle should match our new identity as the holy ones of God.
Because Disobedience Will Keep Us Out of Heaven
The fourth reason we should obey God is because disobedience will keep us out of heaven (v. 5). Those who live lifestyles of unrepentant immorality, impurity, and greed won’t inherit the kingdom of God. Paul expands on this idea in 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.”
Those who persist in unrighteousness of any kind show themselves to not be fit for heaven. He’s not saying that anyone who has committed one of these sins will go to hell, or else there’s no hope for any of us. He’s saying that those who habitually do these things, those who have patterns of unrepentant sin, are deceived if they think that they’re going to go to heaven.
Paul’s logic is simple: those made holy through faith in Christ will increasingly live holy lives. Those who aren’t living increasingly holy lives haven’t truly put their faith in Christ. Faith in Christ fits us for heaven. And if it’s a true faith it will reveal itself through holiness. This is why the writer of Hebrews says to “Strive…for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord” (12:14). Verse 5 is meant to be a sober warning for any Christian who minimizes their sin and thinks that God’s grace means they can do whatever they want. This sober warning is meant to compel us to obey God’s commands and forsake any sinful patterns that are in our lives. What sinful patterns is God convicting you of right now? What should you do about them?
Because the Wrath of God is Coming
As if the warning of verse 5 weren’t sobering enough, in verse 6 Paul gives another somber warning meant to shake us out of complacency and compel our obedience. The fifth reason we should obey God is because the wrath of God is coming. Because of the things that Paul has mentioned in verses 3-5, the wrath of God is coming. Those who persist in sexual sin and obscene speech will receive wrath from God. “Sons of disobedience” doesn’t refer to those who commit the occasional act of disobedience, but to those whose lives are characterized by disobedience. Those who don’t submit to God’s authority and who instead prefer to rule their own lives will be swept away by the torrent of God’s wrath.
Unfortunately, many Christians are “deceived with the empty words” of our culture that sin isn’t that big a deal. Why else have large sections of the church embraced our culture’s sexual ethic? A church in Richardson says this on its website, “We welcome our LGBTQIA+ neighbors. We do not restrict access based on gender, gender identity, or sexual orientation. We don’t teach homosexuality as sin…We don’t ask anyone to change who they love. We don’t use gender identity or sexual orientation as a measure for leadership eligibility. (We) name as our standard that the varieties of sexualities and identities are valid expressions of humanity whose existence we celebrate.”
The American church, in large part, has been deceived into thinking that homosexuality is just how some people are born. That sleeping with whoever you want whenever you want is okay as long as it’s consensual. That pornography is okay because it doesn’t appear to be harming anyone and everyone else is looking at it.
Paul says that we must not be misled by anyone who encourages permissiveness or indifference in these areas. It’s far better to be on the wrong side of culture than the wrong side of God. “Because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience.” God’s holy and righteous anger that’s coming for the persistently disobedient should compel us to obey the commands of God.
Rescue is Coming
The wrath of God isn’t the only thing that’s coming. It’s no doubt coming, and no amount of our culture’s scoffing can stop it, just ask the generation of Noah. But God’s rescue is also coming. God will rescue his beloved children when Jesus returns. Jesus loved us and “gave himself up for us” and Jesus still loves us and will come back for all who’ve trusted in him. In the meantime, we have all the reasons we need to gladly and humbly obey the one who has done so much for us.