Christianity Is Not a Lifestyle Choice
Many people view Christianity as one lifestyle choice among many. Many view it as a new set of behaviors, as a list of things to do and things not to do. Many view Christianity as merely a new lifestyle.
While being a Christian does entail having a new lifestyle, it most fundamentally isn’t about gaining a new set of behaviors. The Christian message, what the Bible calls the gospel, is meant to change something much deeper than our behaviors. Through the gospel, God intends to change human hearts, not just human behaviors.
When we put our trust in the gospel, we’re given a new self, not just a new start. By hoping in Christ, we gain a new identity, not just a new lifestyle. Christianity isn’t meant to give instructions for how spiritually dead people can look alive. The message of Christianity is that spiritually dead people can be raised from the dead through faith in Christ (Eph. 2:4-6).
Old Is Made New
We’re all born dead in our sin, and apart from the gracious working of God, we’ll die in our sin and receive the judgment of God because of our sin. But, through the gospel, God saves us from our sin when we trust in his Son. Our sin is removed and we gain the righteousness of Christ. We’re literally made new. We’re given new garments to wear. The filthy garments of sin are removed and we’re clothed with the clean and new garments of Jesus.
This was Paul’s point in the text we studied last week (4:20-24). Through Jesus, our old sinful self has been crucified and buried and our new self has been resurrected. “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come” (2 Cor. 5:17).
Hearts Changed Lead to Lives Changed
Christianity is therefore not essentially or most fundamentally a new lifestyle. It’s the miraculous changing of our nature. The gospel changes our hearts before it changes our lives. Paul’s overarching point in the last half of Ephesians is that if God has changed our hearts through the gospel, then our lives will inevitably change as well. New hearts lead to new lifestyles. People who’re made new by Christ will live new lives for Christ. People rescued from the old life of sin will live new lives of righteousness.
Paul will show us in 4:25-32 that God isn’t just making new individuals, but a new people. All of the instructions he gives concern how we treat one another in the body of Christ. The gospel creates new selves that make up a new humanity. In Christ, we become a specific kind of community. God is making new people and a new people, a people who corporately reflect his character and glory. In our text, we see that God creates a people of truth (v. 25), a people of justice (vv. 26-27), a people of generosity (v. 28), and a people of grace (vv. 29-32).
A People of Truth
In verse 25, Paul says that the church is a people of truth. A person made new by Christ “has put away falsehood.” This is one of the most basic commands of God. “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor” (Ex. 20:16). We might be prone to downplay lying, as it doesn’t appear to be that big of a deal. But it’s a serious sin. Jesus says in Revelation 21:8 that liars will not get into heaven. “But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.”
A life of habitual lying can send you to hell. A person who continually lies as a part of his daily life shows himself to be a child of Satan, not of God (Jn. 8:44). Lying has been a part of fallen humanity from the beginning. After Cain killed Abel, the Lord asked Cain where Abel was, and he said, “I do not know” (Gen. 4:9). Lying isn’t new. Entire governments, economies, businesses, and families are built on lies. Lying is so normal that our society, in large part, sees no problem with elected officials who tell bold-faced lies.
Lying is more than saying things that are blatantly untrue. Lying includes things like exaggeration, flattery, betraying someone’s confidence, cheating in school or on income tax returns, embellishing your resume, or making excuses. Someone made new by Christ lives a life characterized by “putting away falsehood” of every kind.
“Speak the Truth with Your Neighbor”
Notice that Paul doesn’t end there. He then says that Christians should tell each other the truth. Paul defines “neighbor” as those who “are members one of another.” We should tell the truth to everyone, but Paul says we have a special obligation to be truthful with other believers. The church must be a people of truth. If we can’t be honest with one another in the church, who can we be honest with? If we can’t confess our sin to other sinners who’re saved by grace, who can we confess sin to? If we can’t lovingly point out sin that we see in each other’s lives, then who will? If we don’t tell each other the truth, then who will? Is the world going to tell us the truth about our sin and our need to repent and about Jesus’ grace?
I know that the truth can hurt. I don’t like it when other brothers point out things in my life that I’d rather not talk about. I’d rather glide through life without anyone questioning my lifestyle in any way. But that’s not the way we learned Christ. We must put off what is old and put on what is new.
Though the truth hurts, we must remember that the gospel teaches us that the Truth was hurt for us, that Jesus’ blood covers all our sin, so we’ll never confess a sin to a brother or sister that isn’t already covered by his blood. One of the reasons we lie is to avoid looking bad, to make ourselves look better than we really are, to validate ourselves. But the gospel gives us all the validation we need. We don’t need the approval of others because we have the approval of God. Therefore, we must be a people of truth.
People of Justice
In verses 26-27, Paul says that the church is a people of justice. The word for “anger” here means a “deep-seated, determined, and settled conviction.” It’s not a momentary rage or losing of our temper. Paul says, quoting Psalm 4:4, that there’s a certain kind of anger that’s okay. He’s referring to what’s called “righteous indignation,” or being angry about things that God is angry about. There’s a kind of anger that reflects the righteousness of God. It’s an anger over evil, injustice, immorality, and ungodliness of all kinds.
There should be an anger that rises up in us when we hear that one million babies are killed in their mother’s womb in our country every year. Or when we hear that there are twenty seven million people in slavery today – more than at any other time in history, most of whom are women and children bought, sold, and exploited for sex. Or when we hear about terrorist attacks or mass shootings or wars or famines. Or when we hear about a man who abandons his wife and children for another woman. Or when we hear of churches or Christians that start believing a false gospel or living in immorality. Or when a fellow church member wanders away from the Lord and the church. Not being angry about certain things might be sin. We shouldn’t have a peace about things that God doesn’t have a peace about.
Jesus had this kind of anger several times. One example is in Mark 3:1-5. Jesus was righteously angry at the hard hearts of the Pharisees. Jesus wasn’t angry over things done against him, but over things done against others and against God. Notice back in Mark 3:5 that Jesus’ anger also produced grief. True righteous anger has grief and tears. We must grieve over sin in other people’s lives and be broken over the brokenness of the world.
Anger that is God-centered is pleasing to God. Anger that is self-centered is sinful. People made new by Christ must have an unselfish anger based on love for God and concern for others. But even righteous anger can turn into bitterness and self-righteousness. Even God-centered anger can sour, so we must put it aside at the end of the day. We must “not let the sun go down on our anger.” If we let it simmer and don’t give it to God, we give the devil an opportunity to use it for his purposes. He’ll feed it with pride, vengeance, and other selfish sins. We must take our righteous anger to God, trusting him to right all wrongs.
People of Generosity
In verse 28, Paul says that the church is a people of generosity. Paul says several things in this verse. First he says, “let the thief no longer steal.” We all face temptations to steal, starting in early childhood. There’s something attractive to taking something that doesn’t belong to us and trying to get away with it. Every morning I have to go looking for my hairbrush because Gideon loves to take it and put it somewhere. He doesn’t try very hard to get away with it because it’s usually laying in the middle of living room floor.
There are lots of ways that people steal. Here are some examples: shoplifting, embezzlement, reporting more hours than we worked, not working when we’re on the clock, failing to report income to the IRS, not paying employees a fair wage, pocketing what a clerk overpays us in change, getting soda when we order water, taking money out of dad’s wallet or mom’s purse, defaulting on a debt – or not paying back money that you borrowed, are all examples of stealing. Whatever it is, and whether we get caught or not, stealing is sin. “You shall not steal” (Ex. 20:15). Stealing has no place among the people of God.
Honest Work
Rather than stealing, Paul says that Christians should work hard, “let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands.” Everyone who can work, should work. Work is a basic part of our humanity. God created us to work, giving us work before sin came into the world. An unwillingness to work is to go against God’s good design for your life. It’s wise and good for even those in school to find part-time jobs in order to pay some of their bills and develop habits of responsibility. “If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat” (2 Thess. 3:10).
Our work should be “honest work.” It should be honoring to God. We should never be involved in a profession that dishonors God or violates his commands or takes advantage of others. We should work “with our own hands.” The overall testimony of the Bible is that each person is responsible for their own provision. Of course, we all need help from time to time. But in a culture increasingly convinced that the government is obligated to take care of us, we must be committed to “work with our own hands” to provide for our needs.
Sharing Instead of Stealing
But even this isn’t where Paul stops. He says that the reason the thief should stop stealing and start working is “so that he may have something to share with anyone in need.” People made new by Christ are people who share rather than steal. Through the gospel, God makes us a generous people. Our desire to work is not only to provide for ourselves but also to help others.
Yes, we’re obligated to provide for our families. Paul says, “If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than the unbeliever” (1 Tim. 5:8). But, according to verse 28, providing for our families isn’t the only reason we work. We should want to earn money in order to give money away.
Our work isn’t just about increasing our standard of living. This is where we need to undo some of what our culture has taught us. America says, “If you make more, you should have more.” The Bible says, “If you make more, you should give more.”
We should work in order to “share with anyone in need.” And the needs are great. The needs of other church members. The needs of your local church. The needs of the unreached people groups of the world who don’t have any missionaries to tell them the gospel. The needs of the billions in poverty. The needs of pastors in the majority world who have no access to theological training. The needs of missionaries and mission organizations. The needs of your next door neighbor. The needs of the thousands of children in foster care. The needs of the millions of orphans around the world.
Do you view your work as a God-given means for meeting the needs of others? Does all your take-home pay stay in your home? Like the average evangelical in America – the wealthiest nation in the world, are you content to only give away 2-3% of your income? Do you give your money sacrificially, generously, and consistently for the good of others and the glory of God?
The gospel teaches us that Jesus, the wealthiest Person in the universe, gave himself away for the good of others. He went broke for the sake of others. May we be a people of generosity because we serve a generous God.
People of Grace
In verses 29-32, Paul says that the church is a people of grace. He says that our speech must be gracious and that our attitudes toward one another must be gracious. There must be “no corrupting talk” that comes out of our mouths. Other translations say, “Let no unwholesome or no foul talk” come out of our mouths.
The word used here for “corrupting” refers to rotten fruit or vegetables, or other spoiled food. Unwholesome language should be as repulsive to us as a rotten banana or spoiled meat. How do you react when you hear profanity, dirty jokes, racist jokes, sexual innuendo, vulgarity, or the Lord’s name being used in vain? Do your words reflect a new life or your old life?
In Middle School and High School, I cussed like a sailor. I used the most obscene language during basketball practice just so I would fit in with the upperclassmen. No wonder a friend was surprised when he found out I was going to a Christian college.
Jesus says that the tongue only says what the heart tells it to say. “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (Mt. 12:34). Foul language comes from a foul heart.
Paul says don’t speak with foul language, but do speak in a new way, and he gives three specific characteristics concerning our talk as new people. It should be edifying, appropriate, and gracious. Our speech should edify, or build up, others. It should be helpful, encouraging, constructive, instructive, and uplifting. It must aim to build up, not tear down.
It must also be appropriate, speech that “fits the occasion.” We must know when to speak and when not to. We all admire those who don’t say much, but when they do speak, it’s something really helpful. Proverbs 25:11, “A word spoken at the right time is like gold apples in silver settings.” We don’t speak joyfully when someone’s grieving. We don’t speak uninterestedly when someone’s rejoicing. We don’t say everything that’s on our mind. People made new by Christ know how to use their words appropriately in any occasion.
Our words must “give grace to those who hear.” A maturing Christian speaks the truth, but speaks it in love (v. 15). Telling someone the truth in a mean or self-righteous way is unloving and unhelpful. We’ve been saved by grace, so we should speak in grace. Even confronting someone about their sin is a gracious thing, if done in the right spirit, because they must see their sin in order to repent from it and receive the grace of Christ.
In verse 30, Paul gives us a motivation for not speaking unwholesomely. The sin of God’s children grieves God’s heart. The Spirit of God weeps, in a sense, when he sees God’s people lying instead of telling the truth, being unrighteously angry, stealing instead of sharing, or speaking foul instead of gracious words. How can we so callously grieve the One who has done so much for us, who has “sealed us for the day of redemption”?
Attitudes of Grace
In verses 31-32, Paul says that our attitudes toward one another must be gracious. People made new in Christ don’t have smoldering resentment or hold grudges toward other believers. They put away wrath and anger. They don’t lose their temper and express rage when they don’t get their way. They don’t clamor, or shout or have public outbursts of anger and lose control. They don’t slander, or tear down, one another. They put away all forms of malice, or evil.
If we act this way when conflict arises, relationships can be destroyed, the church weakened, and our testimony stained. When unbelievers see Christians carrying attitudes like this and treating each other like this, they’ll assume that we’re just like everyone else and see nothing compelling in our message.
Instead, we’re to “be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another.” All of this is rooted in what God has done for us, “as God in Christ forgave you.” God has treated us this way, so we should treat each other this way. God gave us what we don’t deserve, so we should give our brothers and sisters in Christ what they don’t deserve. We must be a people of grace.
“I Am a Terrible Christian”
These commands are meant to reflect the contrast between our old life and the new life we have in Christ. We’re not to lie, but speak the truth, to have righteous rather than unrighteous anger, to not steal but rather share, to use edifying rather than unwholesome words, and to treat one another with grace instead of malice.
It’s easy to read a text like this and think, “I am a terrible Christian.” I feel this way. So what do we do? We remember the gospel. We remember that Jesus’ death on the cross covers all our sin, not some of our sin. All our lying, all our unrighteous anger, all our stealing, all our failures to give generously, all our foul talk, all our bitterness, all the times we’ve failed to forgive. “Jesus paid it all, all to him we owe. Sin had left a crimson stain, he washed it white as snow.”
We’ve failed in all these things. But Christ didn’t. He perfectly kept the law of God so that everyone who trusts in him is credited with his law-keeping, his righteousness. Through faith in the gospel, we’ve been made new, literally given a new identity, a new self that will progressively work its way out in every area of our lives. By grace, God will make us what he’s already declared us to be: new creatures in Christ.