Psalm 127:3-5 | Children Are a Blessing, Not a Burden

Cultural Schizophrenia Concerning Children

Schizophrenia is a mental disorder characterized by a failure to understand what is real.  Common symptoms include false beliefs and unclear or confused thinking.  .5% of people are affected by schizophrenia during their lifetime. 

Concerning the topic of children, I’d argue that a much larger percentage of people in our culture are suffering from schizophrenia.  A large portion of our society struggles with unclear or confused thinking concerning children.  Over the last decade, between 45 and 50 percent of Americans have identified with the pro-choice position.  This means that at least half the people in our country think a woman should be free to take the life of her unborn baby if she wants to.

I’m not here to give a complete defense of the pro-life position, nor am I saying that all pro-choice people are evil and going to hell.  I would say, however, that someone who claims to be a follower of Jesus yet sees no problem with abortion isn’t living out their faith consistently. 

The reason at least half our culture is schizophrenic about children is because we value children as our greatest national resource on one hand, and on the other hand we believe that it’s okay to take their lives before they’re born.  As a culture, we’re rightfully appalled at the rise of child abuse.  Organizations are more diligent than ever to make sure that no child abuser is able to be around children.  We talk about the importance of prenatal care, about how women should abstain from smoking and drinking and other harmful things while they’re pregnant.  Doctors and nurses around the country work hard to save the lives of babies born prematurely.  We have laws that declare people guilty for murdering two people if they kill a pregnant woman.  And yet, every single year in our country we allow around one million unborn babies to be killed. 

Granted, the abortion rate has dropped in the last few years.  We’re only killing around one million babies instead of 1.3 or 1.4.  But our country is still confused in its thinking about this issue.  We hold two contradictory beliefs.  We believe that children are our future, should be provided for, protected, and defended.  And we believe that it’s okay for doctors to surgically dismember, or inject a saline solution into the amniotic sac of an unborn baby, in order to end the life of that child.  What are we thinking?  What is wrong with us?

Blessing or Burden?

I think that one of the things affecting our thinking on this issue is how we view children in general as a culture.  It seems that we increasingly view children as a burden, not a blessing.  For example, many folks assume that having kids takes away any opportunity to have fun.  Many parents would much rather put their kids in front of a screen than actually engage them.  In 2013, the birth rate in America was the lowest it’s ever been.  Married couples are waiting longer to have children.  Many of us get unnecessarily agitated when babies cry or toddlers pout or kids act like kids.  We want our restaurants, our airplanes, our churches, and our public places to be as free as possible from the inconvenient disruption of kids.  Why is this?  Maybe it’s because we increasingly view children as a burden rather than a blessing.

Many folks do see children as a blessing.  But sometimes we can see our kids as a blessing for selfish reasons.  Maybe we see them as the way our family name will continue.  Maybe we see them as merely helpers around the house.  Maybe we hope they’ll take care of us when we’re old.  Maybe we see them as some kind of status symbol that makes us look good to our friends and family.  Maybe we see them as a blessing because they bring us so much joy and laughter.

To Those without Children

Many of these things are good things and should be celebrated.  But is there a more fundamental reason why we should see children as a blessing, rather than a burden?  I’m going to argue that there is in a moment, but let me first say a few words to those here who don’t have children. 

First, having children doesn’t mean that God loves you more than those without children.  God loves all his children equally and fully.  He made that clear by giving his only child, his Son, for those who have kids and those who don’t. 

Second, I realize that talk about children can stir up pain and heartache for those who want children but haven’t been able to have children.  The Bible is full of couples who, in God’s providence couldn’t have children.  God is keenly aware of your pain and he promises to comfort the brokenhearted.  The Bible, by the way, is also full of examples of couples who had children as a result of God’s intervention.  So don’t stop praying and hoping and trusting that God can make a way when there doesn’t appear to be any way.

Third, those who’ve never married and thus don’t have kids have an important role to play in God’s kingdom work.  Paul says that it’s better to be single than married (1 Cor. 7).  Not having kids actually gives you an advantage in the work of the kingdom. 

And fourth, those who’re married aren’t commanded to have a certain number of kids or to have them at a certain point or in certain intervals.  Each family will be different.  However, Genesis 1 makes it clear that one of the primary purposes of marriage is child-bearing.  “God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.  And God blessed them.  And God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply” (1:27-28).  Having kids is part of the reason why God designed marriage.  This means that every married couple should plan on having children.  God’s plans will not always be our plans.  But every married couple should think and pray and plan to “be fruitful and multiply.” 

In our culture, DINK’s (dual income, no kids) should especially consider this.  They should be talking about when, not if, they’ll start trying to have children.  It will look different for every family.  But if there’s hesitation, ask why.  Maybe there’s a subtle view of children as a burden rather than a blessing, as an obstacle to your personal or professional goals.  Maybe you see them as too expensive or too much work.  Maybe it’s honestly something you’ve never seriously thought about.  Couples who aren’t married yet should talk openly and honestly about how you view children.  Having children should be seen as one of the primary reasons for marriage.

Children should be seen as a blessing, not a burden.  The Bible teachers that we’re made in the image of God, and that, therefore, each person on planet earth has intrinsic value and worth.  This is one of the most basic tenets of the Christian faith.  Does the Bible say anything else about the intrinsic value of children?  It does (Psalm 127:3-5).

What Children Are

We can divide these verses into two sections: what children are (vv. 3-4) and what parents receive (v. 5).  Verses 3-4 tell us that children are three things: a heritage, a reward, and an arrow in the hand of a warrior.

What does it mean when it says in verse 3 that “children are a heritage from the Lord”?  The word for “heritage” can also mean “inheritance.”  What’s an inheritance?  It’s something that someone gives as a gift to someone else.  It’s usually a gift of great value given to someone who is loved dearly by the giver. 

The text makes it clear that “the Lord” is the One who bequeaths, or bestows, the inheritance of children.  God gives parents the legacy of children as an inheritance, as a gift of great value.  God, not biology or natural selection or random chance, provides children. 

By way of application, if God is the One who provides children he’ll be the One who provides for children.  If God gives you children, he’ll make sure that they’re provided for.  If he can knit us together in our mother’s womb, forming us into the complex creatures we are out of a few cells, then he can surely provide the things we need.  As one commentator says, “How base are those parents who having received the gift of children, regard them as a burden, and doubt the divine kindness in providing for them.  Wherever God sends mouths he sends meat.”

Verse 3 goes on to say that “the fruit of the womb (is) a reward.”  Children are a “reward” to parents.  Not in the sense of getting something they deserve, as in being awarded a certificate for perfect attendance.  But in the sense of getting something they don’t deserve.  God “awards” parents with children, giving them a gift they could never deserve, out of sheer kindness and grace.  Do we usually think of kids this way?  As a reward?  As something special that we have no business receiving?  As something that was given to us in order to bless us?  Or do we see children as something we’d rather not receive, a gift we’d gladly refuse or take back if we could, as a curse rather than a blessing?  “The fruit of the womb is a reward.” 

And, by the way, this doesn’t mean that only children who come from your womb, ladies, or your wife’s womb, men, are a “reward.”  All children are the “fruit of someone’s womb.”  Therefore, adopted children are just as much a reward as biological children.

The third thing that the text tells us that children are is in verse 4.  Children are “like arrows in the hand of a warrior.”  I love this.  I love movies about warriors.  I feel like I can storm the gates of hell after I watch Braveheart or The Patriot or Saving Private Ryan or The Last of the Mohicans.  I feel like I can take on the world when I’m watching Legolas and Gimli and Aragorn and Gandalf take on a host of orcs, or when watching Rea battle it out with Kylo Ren.  The symbol of a warrior is a powerful one.  It’s someone with strength and courage who does incredible things for the good of others. 

But a warrior without a weapon isn’t going to be able to do much good.  What is Legolas without his bow, Gimli without his ax, or Aragorn without his sword?  What is Luke Skywalker or Rea without their light saber?  Every warrior needs a weapon.   

Our text says that children are like weapons in the hands of warriors.  A warrior without any arrows is defenseless and vulnerable.  He’s exposed to the enemy and likely to be defeated.  Children, therefore, serve as a means of protecting their parents.  They stand up for them against the “enemies in the gate” (v. 5).  They fend off those who would attack or harm or take advantage of their parents, especially when their parents enter the stage of life when they can no longer care for themselves.  Children can be towers of strength and provision and protection for their parents when they’re feeble and weak and their health is failing.  Some of you who’ve taken care of your parents in their old age know exactly what this passage is talking about.  You defended your mom and dad when no one else would.  You protected them.  You fought for them.  You provided for them.  You were arrows in the hand of a warrior.  This is one of the reasons why children are a blessing and not a burden. 

What Parents Receive

Verse 5 tells us what parents receive in their children.  “Blessed is the man…”  We receive blessing when we have kids.  We’re blessed if we have children, not cursed.  The word for “blessed” literally means “happy.”  “Happy” are those with kids!  Children are a gift and a reward, a joy and a blessing.  No matter how hard things get with our boys, I’ll often just sit back and watch them play or look at books or wrestle and just think, “I’m incredibly blessed.” 

Notice that the text actually says we’re blessed if we have lots of kids.  A “quiver” is what holds arrows.  So a man with a full quiver is very blessed!  In other words, in the battle of life, the more arrows a warrior has the better.  This certainly goes against the grain of a culture that generally thinks that it’s weird to have lots of kids.  The Bible doesn’t tell us how many we should have.  But it does tell us that there is blessing and happiness in having a full quiver.

A Counter-Cultural Idea

According to Scripture, children are a blessing, not a burden.  They’re God’s gift and reward meant to defend and protect their parents and meant to bring happiness and blessing into their parent’s lives.  On Sanctity of Human Life Sunday, we need to understand that valuing human life means more than standing against abortion.  It means seeing children the way God sees them. 

The idea that children are a blessing from God will be counter-cultural in a culture like ours.  We live in a culture that values animals more than humans, a culture where many people get more excited about pets than children.  A schizophrenic culture that punishes those who kill the unborn accidentally and yet allows doctors to kill them legally.  We aren’t thinking clearly on this issue. 

As Christians, we must humbly, yet firmly, push back on the widespread belief that children are not a blessing from God but can rather be discarded any time they threaten to burden our lives.  The 3,000 preborn children who die every day in America need us to speak for them, pray for them, and act for them.  They need us to promote and proclaim the truth that every life is intrinsically valuable and that children are a gift from God. 

The only thing that will sustain us in this work is the reality that God allowed his only child, his only Son Jesus Christ, to die so that we might live.  He sent his Son, not to be a burden, but to carry our burden of sin and guilt to the cross, receiving the consequences of rebellion against God that we deserve, so that all who trust him can be called sons and daughters of God.  Jesus took our burden so that we could receive God’s blessing. 

In response, may we live as children of God who see children as a blessing from God.  And may we do all that we can do in order to promote the inherent value of every single child, born or unborn.